Saturday, December 20, 2008

what the...?


I'm gone for a week and when I get back there's a freakin marble coaster glued to my coffee table. Lord only knows what it is that's doing the sticking but truth be told I'm silently impressed cuz that coaster isn't going anywhere without taking half the table with it. My mind reels as Kevin sleeps peacefully upstairs (for now). I don't think I've seen this trick since college. What in the world did we use back then to remedy this kind of stuff? Or did we even bother? Ugh. Tis the season and all that.

Running to Stand Still

I'm all over the place lately. Literally. DC, Cleavland, Madison, Dallas, and in 6 hours it'll be Hawaii. Finally. It's here. I can't think of a crazier time in my life than the past couple of months. And before you child toting individuals start to scoff, yes, I am aware that there are crazier times ahead when little people will one day pitter patter and poop all over me. But at present, my cup runneth over and I'm ready for the roller coaster to stop. At least for a while. I need to catch my breath dammit.

I haven't yet been able to write about Grammie, her life and her passing. I will when I'm ready.

Over and over again I catch myself saying 'I'll be able to breathe a little next week' or 'After this week things will calm down and I'll be able to catch up'. But then the next week I catch myself repeating those same words. And somehow it's less than a week away from Christmas and I haven't bought a single gift or card. I look around my house and realize my holiday decorating efforts are abysmal at best and I never did get around to baking all those damn holiday cookies intended for co-workers and the like. Perhaps that last bit though is best for everyone.

My plane leaves for Hawaii in 6 hours. Perhaps there I can find some peace. Some breath. Inhaling the sun, exhaling the cold and ice. Inhaling the fresh sea air, exhaling ick. Wish me luck.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Merry Birthday Season To All!

In honor of my up-coming THIRTY SECOND BIRTHDAY which will be in just a few days, here is my birthday gift to all those Sag's and Caps out there who were also lucky enough to be born during the Christmas Holiday season. And, this is also a gift to those of you who's friends and loved ones' are said Sag's and Caps. A simple list of do's and don'ts for the young and old. Be it a preemptive strike or a way to make amends, take notes...
  1. Do call the person on their birthday. Do not wait until Christmas and say 'Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas! We thought we'd save a dime and combine the calls!' Same goes for bdays that fall after Christmas. 2. separate. calls.

  2. Do wrap all birthday presents in birthday wrapping - Like so:

  3. Do not show up with bday and xmas gifts all in the same wrapping and tell the bday person to 'take their pick'. Like so:

  4. That being said, do not combine bday and xmas gifts into the same gift. Your bday's in June, do you get combined bday-xmas gifts?? Yeah, didn't think so.

  5. If your bday person is still under 3 feet tall and to your thinking is 'too young to remember' then think again. I so wish now that I'd been clever enough to formulate the words effectively back then so I could have yelled 'SCREW YOU GUYS I'M OPENING MY DAMN PRESENTS!' Mom, Dad, I love you and while I admit freely to having a crappy memory I have to say this, this I remember... Mandating that 6 year-olds can only open presents during the commercial breaks of football games is total bullshit and could potentially lead to years of therapy. Playoffs or no playoffs. Save yourselves the time, money and guilt and have the parties a) on a day without football, 2) at a venue away from football or c) RECORD THE DAMN GAME AND WATCH IT LATER! This is, after all, the age of DVR, TEVO, and other gadgety stuff.

  6. Do make the events separate. Some how. Some way. The few days before Christmas are often crunch time for everyone, birthday individual included. I can count on one hand the number of times I actually celebrated my birthday on my birthday which now come to think of it is actually ok with me. Believe it or not I'm not even a big bday celebrator. Product of my upbringing perhaps? Dunno. That too could take a separate posting. Between you and me, too much attention makes me uncomfortable. Shocking but true.

All in all I think I've lucked out with friends and family and bday festivities. It's taken a while but we've come a long way from tearing through as many gifts as possible in under 2 minutes with both efficiency and grace. Even my yeti prince caught on uber quick, another reason why I married him. Just keep in mind that everyone's different and thus has different bday wishes so find out what they are. Me, I'm more of a drinks with a select few kinda gal. Oh, and something with a candle at any point in the day.
For anyone whose bday is actually on the 25th, you're on your own and good luck. I've heard that some people do half bdays in the summer. Hmmm...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

A Day at Wrigley - Priceless.


So there we were, one sunny June afternoon at Wrigley, Cubs - v - Brewers, 9 rows behind home plate. That in itself was a whole lot of awesome.

At the end of the game we turned to leave and who should be right behind us but Illinois's favorite governor - Milrod Blagojevich. With several Wrigley-sized beers in my belly I was feeling especially bold and asked his very large secret service man if we could take a picture with him. The very large secret service man hesitated at first, but all it took was a way too lingering - and thus uncomfortable for us - gaze at Jamaica's cleavage and Shady Rod quickly agreed.

Perhaps I'll hang this photo next to my personalized autographed menu by my former baseball hero Raphael Palmeiro (pre-scandal).

Does anyoneelse see a pattern here?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

December 9, 1975


HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUV!





Na zdraví!
Miluju tě.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Proposition 8 The Musical



And if you haven't read it, Leviticus 18 makes for some pretty interesting reading. It's part of the holiness code that God gave to Moses on Mt. Sinai. Actually, the entirety of Leviticus makes for interesting reading. And in 11:9-12 you can read where God really does hate shrimp.

What do you think of the video?

Monday, December 1, 2008

December 2



Happy Birthday Sister!

*** UPDATE 12/3/08 ***

I just remembered this one story about my sister. I actually used to call her 'Sister'. For years. I think I thought that was her name. When I was really little tho it was more like 'Thither.' So that's how it was until the fall of 1986. I remember the time roughly because I was in the fourth grade and it was my first year at St. Thomas Aquinas. It was soccer season and the leaves were orange so I'm led to be believe that it was definitely fall. And it was definitely my first year at STA because it was also my first year to be taught by nuns. Nuns.

So that one fall afternoon we were left waiting for the day's carpool mom to pick us up (late). I was sitting on some steps with a friend (who at the moment has a fuzzy face) and Alethea (Sister) had just said something utterly snotty to me. As she walked off I can still see her tossing her triangular frizzy 80's bob haircut over her shoulder, and throwing her head back to laugh, eyes squinting in a Chinese-like fashion behind red-rimmed coke bottle glasses.

At that same time, Sister Bernadette and Sister Adrea were walking down the steps past me towards the convent. I yelled 'Sister, stop!' But Sister kept walking. Laughing and walking. And pounding my fist and even louder this time, I yelled 'Dammit, Sister - stop!' And she still didn't stop. But they did. Sister Bernadette and Sister Adrea stopped dead in their tracks. And turned slowly. Mouths slack. Eyes wide. Really, really wide.

Needless to say she was 'Alethea' from that day forth.

The End.