Friday, December 11, 2009

The Myth of Normal

Confession #1: I recently filled a prescription for Xanax in preparation for my holiday trip to my beloved home and Lone Star State. I love my family more than life itself and I love my friends who are there, but I gotta say that all that doesn't come with some stress. Some anxiety. And some times it even comes with just a little panic. Living far away from those who love you most can make it hard to return for that very reason. The pressure to see everyone, never being able to see everyone you want to see or everyone who wants to see you, never spending 'enough' time with them when you do. Always on the go. Normally I'd pack my running shoes and my Yoga mat to keep me centered. Breathing. But sadly this year I don't have that luxury. The mat and shoes have been collecting dust since September so when in doubt, Plan B.
Normal as defined by thefreedictionary.com is Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical. That was the first out of over 30 definitions of the word. There's also something in there about complying with scientific principles and right angles... My eyes started to cross as I scanned the lists. Noun. Adjective. Math. Chemistry. Psychology. Who knew 'normal' could be applied to so many things on so many levels? And who cares? Apparently I do.
I recently read an article in Psychology Today - aptly titled 'What is Normal?' - and it got me thinking. It seems that the world is in constant search of finding its norm. It's standard pattern of behavior. Its conformity. If you don't conform to your current surroundings then you are dubbed 'abnormal'. But the same you in a different setting could be totally normal. Normal today but not tomorrow. And when we don't feel 'normal' we seek out that which makes us that way and try to fix it. There must always be a solution, a cure for what ails us. Be it mentally, emotionally, physically.
We live in a day and age where we as a society need a diagnosis to justify our abnormalities. Something, anything to say: Hey world, I know I'm not normal but it's not my fault! See? This is out of my control and there are others like me! Lots of others! Does that make me normal then?
Confession #2: As much as I like to say I don't give a damn, in reality, most of the time, I do. I recently got my first ever prescription for Xanax. Although I've had symptoms for years - as far back as junior high - it wasn't until recently that the doctor actually said the words 'anxiety disorder'. And when he did? I felt relieved. Ironically, I could breathe. I felt normal. Why? Because I know that lots of people go through the same thing. I'm not the only one and just knowing that that's what it was - even though it's been obvious for years - made me feel like I was in good company.
And the Xanax? It helps. It slows the heart rate. It creates a bit of a shield so even if I believe the plane will go down, really, I won't care that much. The thought of coming to Dallas and not seeing Grammie will still pierce me to the core, but it won't take my breath. I will distribute the sadness until it weighs evenly throughout my body and I will keep moving. And when a relative (I love you all so so much) makes a comment about 'leaving so soon' or 'wishing there was more time', my heart won't skip a beat. Yes, I'll care, but the comment won't wreck me. It will land on the top of my head like a little drop, and roll all the way down... It will land on the floor and I will leave it there. Check.

Welp, Merry Christmas ya'll.
Here's hoping Santa brings me a successful Plan B.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Doctor Sleep


This just in.... Stephen King has (tentatively) announced that he is planning a SEQUEL to one of my top 10 favorite books of all time - The Shining. It might even be one of my top 5 but hands down it's the scariest book I've ever read. And not like 'scary gruesome' but scary as in a total mind-fug. Can I say that? I just did. If you haven't read it then you won't understand.

The last time I read it I could only read it outside in the Texas sun while floating in the middle of my in-laws' pool where no harm could come to me. It was not allowed indoors. Jack Torrance's mind is a scary place to be, you should try it sometime.

So the sequel - Doctor Sleep.

I admit that I have wondered what ever happened to young Danny Torrance. You know, the finger talking Mr. 'redrum, redrum' kid and one of the freakiest child actors EVER. Him and that little girl from Poltergeist. Doctor Sleep picks up 40 years later and centers on said freaky kid Danny Torrance who is living in upstate New York and working as an orderly for hospice. Yikes. I'm intrigued.

Sad to say the sequel is not a sure thing as Mr. King joked that he 'keeps talking about it so he won't have to write about it.' And I say: SHUT UP AND WRITE STEPHEN!!!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Get Lost


Yee-freakin-HAW ya'll. The count down is on and I need to get my ass in gear. I started out strong early in season 5 and then all recaps LOST came to a screeching halt around mid March. It seems like so long ago. I'd stopped recapping and for the first time in years I stopped KEEPING UP! ouch. Like, I couldn't tell you what happened in the last 3 episodes if my life depended on it. That's just sad. But now I'm back and ready to pick-it-to-death. Who's with me? Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna run back through the season and while I'd love to recap the remaining episodes, let's face it, probably not gonna happen. BUT, I will at least recap the season as a whole and I'm VERY excited for the refresher course.

But before I leave I ask you this:
What did one snowman say to the other?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Say it isn't Sosa


This is weird, right? These latest images of the Home Run Slugger have caused quite a stir ever since he debuted his 'new look' at the Latin Grammy's last week. Jaw dropping Michael Jackson speculations have been made but Sosa insists he owes his new creamy complexion to a face moisturizer and paparazzi flash bulbs. Huh.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

postSCHOVILLOVAsecret

I admit. I'm hooked on Postsecret.com and I have been for years. It's brutally - and at times painfully - honest, candid, and freeing. Secret confessions are posted on all topics, never ceasing to amaze, inspire and occasionally cause one to wince. It's got me thinking about what I would send. Sometimes I find some that I could have written myself. I posted them here...
I do this sometimes when I go shopping. Or I bring my ipod so I can not hear the sales people when they approach me.

I do this knowing that it will come back to bite me in the ass when I have kids.

I'm pretty certain that I do use too much TP. I think a lot of people do and just don't admit it.

I do this at airports. Or I'll have my headphones in with the volume down.
Is that so wrong?

And I would add these- but shhh! It's our little secret...
1) Ok, ok, I really do use too much toilet paper.
2) I am quietly miffed when I don't get carded. I'm 32. I need to get over myself.
3) Sometimes I listen to NPR just to hear the soothing voices - not caring about the program. Everyone on there has an amazing voice.
4) When I was little my doctor told me I'd be 5'7" or 5'8". I'm secretly still waiting for that to happen.
5) Kevin leaves by 6:45 am almost every morning. Some mornings I'll get up with him and make it seem like I'm up for the day, but as soon as he leaves I jump right back into be for another hour :)

So tell me friends, Do you have anything fun that you want to share?
Leave a comment - you can even do it anonymously.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Videos of the Week

As stated previously, September was not one of my most stellar months, but I was lucky enough to go out with some good laughs. The below videos - if you haven't seen them, and hell, even if you have - are sure to bring great big smiles and giant belly laughs.

Enjoy!


Thursday, October 1, 2009

See Ya September, Helloooo October!

Go ahead. Take a whiff. A long beautiful inhale through the nose... hold.... hold... and - exhale... all the way out. Did you smell it? Feel it? Taste it? That's the smell of Fall. It's here. The leaves and cool crisp air do not lie friends. As the trees become illuminated and energized by the Autumn season, so too shall we. We will shed our summer skin - all the stress, bruises and bumps - and charge forth with new attitude and vigor.

September started out hopeful enough, but September can be tricky. It clings to summer because it's warm days are not fit for my beloved fall. Linen pants and open-toe shoes are still acceptable and scarves are still fashion only - not function. So I waited. September came and unleashed its fury. Ok, not fury so much as blows. I quickly found myself confined to crutches and anyone who knows me can guess how well that hasn't gone over. But as I shed my Summer-September skin, so too shall I shed these damn crutches. Also there were some work blows and I hate to even give credit to the labor gods but so be it. But I rallied, and did some soul-searching and reconfiguring and left my ego behind. I love my job and the people I work with. That is why I do it and so I shall continue to do it. Until that winning lotto ticket lands in my lap.

With September safely behind me, I embrace the new season and all it brings. The cool air. Football games with Kevin & Co. Coffee on my porch on cool mornings. Hot Yoga on cool nights. Fires in the chiminea and maybe even our fireplace this year. MLB. New music. Red wine.

So this is me, pulling on my knit hat, choosing a scarf out of the pile, grabbing a crutch and heading outside. Heading into Fall.

Monday, September 7, 2009

What Am I Missing?


I awoke Friday morning to the late breaking news that half the country was up in arms because American students were about to be indoctrinated by none other than the President of the United States. And the subject of the indoctrination? Brace yourselves.... It was THE IMPORTANCE OF STAYING SCOOL! OMG y'all, our children are going to have to be asked by the President to do well in school, to apply themselves, and, Heaven forbid, TAKE RESPONSIBITLTY FOR THEIR EDUCATION!! All this leads me to ask the obvious:

Seriously?
oh, and...
Are you effing kidding me??

Numerous conservatives are claiming that President Obama's speech on Tuesday about 'persisting and succeeding in school,' along with classroom activities about the 'importance of education,' will 'indoctrinate' and 'brainwash' schoolchildren. They've compared Obama's address to Chinese communism and the Hitler Youth, while also calling for parents to 'keep your kids home' from the 'fascist in chief.' Um.... Since when did a speech from the President to US students constitute brain washing and indoctrination? It's not like a message from the President to the nation's youth is unprescedented. Surely there was something that I was missing. Surely, there had to be a valid reason why our nation's Conservatives were threatening to establish a nation-wide 'Parents Keep Your Kids Out of School Day' rather than have their children be talked to about the improtance of staying in school. Because, you know, that'll show those education do-gooders.

Nationwide, 7,000 students drop out every day and only about 70 percent of students graduate from high school with a regular high school diploma. Two thousand high schools in the U.S. produce more than half of all dropouts and a recent study suggests that in the 50 largest cities, only 53 percent of students graduate on time. Is this not cause for alarm. Are these statisitcs not enough to bridge the bi-partisan divide and have us come to gether as a united nation and do what we can to implore the nation's youth to get serious about their eduaction? Teachers and parents can do what they can, but ultimately, it's up to them, the students.

True story: I grew up in Dallas, TX, and went to high school at an inner city school, known for their top-notch performing arts (which I sadly was not a part of but loved to watch) and their ability to produce National Merit Scholars while hosting an unbelievable drop-out rate. I'll never forget my first day of Freshman year when Mr. Giesler spoke to the new class of Freshmen and told us to take a look around at the faces that surround you. See how many seats are filled. So I took a look at the sea of faces that were my new classmates, taking them all in, and then was shocked to hear him say There are more than 600 students in your class. Your goal, is to graduate with half. Ouch. My being new to the DISD school system I had no idea what the drop-out trends of the early 90's were like. In May of 1995 I found out. While we still had 200+ students in our Senior class, we didn't even walk with 200.

Needless to say this latest breaking 'news' frustrates me. Pisses me off. Makes me laugh even. So why this? Why now? Glen Beck jumped the gun when he said that Obama's speech was more evidence of the 'indoctrination of your children' and sadly, millions followed, hook-line-and-sinker. What am I missing? Conservatives are demanding to know why it should be up to the President to deliver this message. And why in the classrooms? And I ask Why the hell not? Am I so naive in thinking that a message like the one that Obama will be delivering tomorrow to our nation's classrooms can be anything but good? I think that the supplemental classroom materials to generate discussion and encourage taking ownership of their educational endeavors is a great idea. Because at the end of the day,that's exactly what we need them to do. Talk. Discuss. And take responsibility because no one else is going to do it for them.

I could go on, and want to, really I do. But don't take my word for it. To read for yourself the words of tomorrow's indoctrination, click here. And then talk. Discuss. And take responsibility dammit.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Welcome Back, Baby!

He's baaaaack! This news alone is enough to entice me back to Dallas before baseball season is up. In case you haven't heard, my beloved Pudge is headed back to the Rangers - hellz, yeahz. This is some exciting news folks. Heading into tonight's game against Minnesota, the Rangers actually have a one-game lead in the AL wild-card race and this latest acquisition could seal the deal. That's right, for the first time in 10 years, the Texas Rangers could find themselves back in the playoffs. After bouncing around from the Marlins to the Tigers, 2 World Series visits (one win), and then a recent short stint with the Astros, Rodriguez has returned to his roots. He is home. And I couldn't be happier.

PS - Dear Brett Favre, retire already and damn you for going to the Vikings.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

SkyMall, I Think I love You

As many of you know, I have been traveling a lot this summer, and not necessarily to my liking. Don't get me wrong, I love to travel. Love going to new and old places. Love love love airports. But hate flying. Hate it. Every moment on a plane for me is surely my last moment on earth - or in earth's sky - and God help the poor unfortunate soul who gets the seat next to me. Every bump sends my heart a-racing and I can't even count the number of times I have wound up in tears. If I'm lucky I remember to fly armed with what I like to call 'Mama's little chill pill' or at least plenty of cash for booze. I'm not allowed to mix the two. Not anymore. But I digress.

So this summer, along with my arsenal of anti-anxiety flying tactics - including ipod, chill pills, cash, Economist, and airport trash book - I started to include my new best friend: the SkyMall magazine. Anyone? Anyone? I've apparently been flying with this lovely piece of literature for years and never really took notice. But now SkyMall, I notice you. And I heart you too. Who knew there was such a roller coaster ride of emotions to be had in those 80-something pages of must-haves? Hours of entertainment really. I mean seriously folks, I am humbled by some of the genius, yet baffled at the same time. For example...
The Edge Bake Pan. Deliciously cooked edges on both sides. Need I say more?
The Stop Sign Park n' Place. It flashes when your bumper hits the pole. Have you seen the front of my car? Where have you been all my life!? More genius...
The Coin Counting Jar. Counts. As. You. Deposit. Love it. Have to have it..

Now, for the good stuff...
ShapeUp Pads. Add sexy curves without surgery. Eat your heart out Wonder Bra, introducing the Wonder Butt! They're adhesive butt pads ya'll!
The Water-Powered LED Light Shower Head. Go without the standard bathroom light. Soooo, what happens when you turn the water off? Are you thus cloaked in darkness? Do you have to grope your way through the darkness to turn the water on so you can then have light? Weird.
The Slanket. Stay cozy and keep your hands free! Even from the comfort of your own couch on movie night these are questionable and just a wee bit laughable. But bring this bad-boy to a baseball game and even I'll kick your ash.
REM Spring. Removes hair from the root. Um, ow. And no way in hell. No. Stinkin. Way.
NeckPro Traction Device. Offers simple, easy, effective and portable cervical traction. Maybe so, but I almost blew my back out from laughing so hard when I saw this. Come on, you laughed too, admit it. Oh, and it's 'the perfect travel companion' too.
The Indoor Dog Restroom - mat and tray system. Gives dogs a place to relieve themselves when they can't get outside for respite. Seriously? GET UP OFF THE COUCH AND TAKE YOUR DAMN DOG OUTSIDE PEOPLE! This sucker holds up to 2 gallons of pee by the way. Who wants 2 gallons of pee kickin it in their home!? Ew, ew, EW!
And last but certainly not the least... introducing The Skyrest. This person can sleep comfortably in any seat. Really, any seat? So long as it has a tray table. Can we assume that 'this person' has passed out unconscious after blowing up said Skyrest? Hilarious.

Ah, my work here is done and quite frankly I can't wait to see the next issue. Perhaps there's a Holiday Edition. Will Santa bring me a fabulous high-heel shoes that do the walking for me? One can only hope. So thank you SkyMall for keeping me company these past months. I owe my sanity and growing Christmas list to you.

Cau for now friends.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Forgive me Mary,for thou art headless.

It was the drop heard around Seattle.
A sad day indeed when poor Ceramic Mary hit the cold, hardwood floors, and lost her head.
Genevieve has sense recovered, Mary has not.

How you doin?

Hey Friends, I'm here, I'm alive, and I've missed you. It's been a busy summer and in case you're wondering, here's what I've been up to....


Eat your heart out Cleopatra, there's a new queen in town.
Yes folks, c'est moi. Family programmer by week, Egyptian queen by weekend. For the record it was a one-time gig. It started out as me agreeing to sport henna art for the opening weekend events, and quickly morphed into phrases like 'make-up' and 'costume fittings'.
I guess it could have been worse, right?

The bone diggers cometh.

In Faith, SD, population 489, we're known as 'The Bone Diggers'. We come every summer to dig up the 65 million year-old bones of Edmontosaura and treat families to all things paleo fun. To learn more about a day at our dig site, check out the super-cool dinoblog that I worked on - the blog that got some love this summer.

Just another day at work.
The last of the Star Wars Saturdays, complete with Yoda Yoga and Jedi Fitness. Even Kev came up to join in the fun. Guess what's on my Christmas list this year....

My Heart Runneth Over.
And last, but not least, the summer culminated on a much-needed and rare family vacation. For Terry's 60th birthday celebration, Mom and Terry's 4 kids were all together for the first time in 6 years,and the 4 grand kids were together for the first time ever. 9 out of 13 of us got sick. And it was still awesome.

Cau for now friends.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Time, My Elusive Friend

Tap, tap, tap... Is this thing on?
Let me start off by thanking those of you who have not given up on me completely. I'm still here, alive and somewhat kicking, and ready for things to slow down. These past few months have flown by at warp speed and I'm having a hard time believing that June is almost over. Seriously? Is this how it's going to be now? God I hope not. Looking forward I see some breathing room coming my way around mid-August. Remind me later that I said that.
For the first time I have found myself too busy and quite frankly that doesn't sit well with me. Too much on my plate with nowhere else to put it it would seem. I keep thinking that if I just get better organized or prioritize things a little differently that I could actually find a few more hours in the day to get my sh*t done. So far it hasn't worked but it's not gonna stop me from trying. I'm afraid that I'm getting further and further away from those things that I'm always soap-boxing about - Listening to your body, yoga, running, writing, sleeping, breathing, blah blah... have all seemed to vanish from my routine. That. Sucks. So, here and now, as ya'll as my witness, I shall never be too busy again!
Anyway, I find myself in the latter half of June and I'm not quite sure how I got here. May was filled with 2 out-of-state weddings, race weekend with 50 of our closest friends, AND Kev's graduation weekend - complete with oodles of family and friends and 6 kegs of home-brewed beer - thanks Eric! June arrived with Yoda Yoga - Downward facing Wookie anyone? - and the beginning of our museum summer camp. It's funny that for so many years spent working at a summer camp, I find myself in a similar place, more than 10 years(ouch) later. Only this one has air conditioning and not nearly as many bugs - holla!
In less than 2 weeks I leave for South Dakota to go digging for dinosaurs. Those of you not in the museum world, you're sitting there scratching your head saying 'what the___?' For the museum folk this is just another line in the SRDP. This trip fills me with both excitement and trepidation on so many levels and here are just a few: Excitement because - duh - it's digging for dinosaurs. But trepidation because it's nothing I've ever done before and somehow I have to convince 30 families that I know what I'm doing. I'll let you know how that goes.
In the mean time tho, I will work on finding that ever-elusive sleep, I will remember to breathe, and I will go to yoga tomorrow.
In the words of Master Yoda: Do or do not, there is no try.
Cau for now friends.
PS - The Rangers are still in first place in AL West.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Got Cheesus?

Wow, so much has happened since we last spoke - Swine flu is down while child witches are up, pirates are out and Cheesus is in and oh yeah, THE RANGERS ARE IN FIRST PLACE!! What the hell ya'll?


This is no joke folks. A Dallas couple - holla! - found sudden fame when they found a Cheeto that they said STRONGLY RESEMBLES JESUS CHRIST DEEP IN PRAYER! What I want to know is a) seriously? and b) who takes the time to look at their Cheeto's before stuffing them into their mouth!?

Thoughts?



Before you panic, get the facts straight and click here for all things swine and flu Q&A. Admittedly this info would have been more useful weeks ago but it's never too late folks. Altho this trendy flu is no longer front page news, it is still out there! Experts (and there are lots of 'em) say that the flu may be going into a 'hibernation' of sorts BUT has the potential to come back stronger and badder than EVER in the fall! Fun fact? This isn't the first time that this flu has hit.



They just don't make pirates like they used to. No longer are we free to celebrate the Captain Jack Sparrows and Will Turners (sigh) that Hollywood totes and even celebrating 'Talk Like a Pirate Day' has become questionable and possibly un-PC - ARG! Somali pirates are on the rise and raked in over 30 million dollars alone last year but still, you hafta admit, whenever you see/hear/read the headline 'Pirates Attack', you chuckle - a little, and think wha? Right?

CNN (see, with interesting stories like this I haven't quit you yet)
sadly reported recently that the issue of "child witches" is soaring in Nigeria and other parts of the world. Children accused of witchcraft are often incarcerated in churches for weeks on end and beaten, starved and tortured in order to extract a confession. In case you're wondering, you can tell when a child or teenager has been possessed because they are a) rambunctious, b) skip school, and c) cry when you beat them with brooms because you see, (Nigerian) witches are terrified of brooms.


Ok, yes, it's only (the end of) May, but that will not stop me from being totally stoked about our dear little Rangers' 6 game winning streak (which came to an end today - damn Tigers) but still leaves them in a solid first place standing in the AL West AND, dare I say, a solid second place in the AL overall. Woot y'all, woot. And what might you ask has finally changed? Two words: pitching and defense. Oh, and someone named Nolan, Ryan that is.


That's all I got for now boys and girls. Thanks for your patience. An overview of Lost S5 is on the way... Just as soon as I watch the finale.

Cau for now.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Cat's Pajamas

On this day I celebrate the birth of one of the the most original ladies that ever was.
Happy Birthday Grammie.

I confess that since she passed last December I've written 3 posts about her, none of which I published. They were therapeutic in the their conception as I cranked them out over the past 4 months and I'm not even sure they were meant for anyone else. At least not yet. They chronicle the events leading up to her passing, her final breath, and the days that followed. I'm thankful to have written it down for there were some things that I'd already forgotten until I just reread them them. So thanks me.

There are also those things which I will never forget, no matter how much time passes. Daily reminders, mannerisms I have, or things that my mom or sister say... No need to write them down except for the sake of sharing, for they are forever ingrained in my memory and all around me. These things that shape who I am, how I think, and, when I least expect it, things I say.

I recently received some boxes of her kitchen linens. As soon as I peeled back the tape - WHOOSH! There she was. Her smell was suddenly all around me. And just as suddenly there I was, standing in her kitchen while paralyzed in my own. I was absolutely not expecting that. So, I did what any rational thinking person would do - I swiped away my tears and went for the Ziplocks. I carefully placed and shoved every one of those linens into the bags and sealed them tight. Save them for another day. Her cookbooks, so well-worn and well-loved, every time I flip through them I get another whiff of the 521 Vernet St. In case you're wondering , I didn't seal the cookbooks. I display them proudly on my counter and flip through them as often as possible, embracing the smells, the notes in the margins, and the recipes and notes dating back to the 40's.

Grammie. Punkie. Pat. Mrs. Lohmar. Mom. Anyone who walked through her kitchen door got fed, no matter who they were or what they wanted. And if you were lucky you left with a tin of cookies - or 2. There was always music in the background, whether it was Chumbawamba's Tub Thumping or Patsy Cline, the woman loved her tunes. She always said what she thought, was convinced that baked goods cured all, and had an amazing wit. She was a fan of soaps and romance novels - not the Harlequins, she was better than that. Her kitties were her babies and and it was always beer thirty - somewhere. She loved to give gifts and she loved to cook. The love that she could not express with words was expressed through all of these things, making her Grammie. Punkie. Pat. Mrs. Lohmar. Mom.

She instilled in me the importance of humor, exercise, family, reading, flowers in bud vases, beer in the back yard, recipes, using 'good' shampoos and conditioners, donating blood and slowing down for speed traps. Get to know your neighbors, your mail man, your air conditioner repairman and the kind folks at the bakery and deli counters. They can be your best friends.
Before she passed my mom asked her what she'd like to be 'viewed' in. Grammie called it her 'regalia'. For her last 10 years at least she was a shorts, jeans, or pajama wearing lady so the thought of being donned in a dress and pearls did not sit well with her. Jokingly my mom said that she should just wear her cat pajamas and in true Grammie fashion she loved the idea. So that's exactly what she did.

No amount of preparation could have ever prepared me for my last good-bye. Every once in a while I feel like the wind's been knocked out of me and I stumble a little. So many reminders, I'm forever surrounded. Forever affected. Forever influenced and inspired.
She truly was, the cat's pajamas.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Hail Mary, Who Art in Seattle


To most individuals, despite religious affiliations or lack there of, this image to the left represents Mary, Virgin, Mother of Jesus. But to my 3 year old niece, she's something even more. She. Is. Her. Baby. That's right folks, little Genevieve - otherwise known as 'G' or 'Super G' - is the proud mother of her little baby Mary statuette. A statue that once belonged to my mom as a little girl and then was placed lovingly on a shelf, collecting dust for most of my childhood. And finally after many many moons, Statue Mary is finally getting some TLC. Sacrilegious? I think not. Altho Sister Geraldine may disagree.

Here's an email that I recently received from my mom after a recent trip to Seattle:

In the meantime G continues to collect Blessed Mary memorabilia. They visited a Catholic gift shop yesterday and G went ape….. over all of the Mary statues. For those of you who don’t know, G’s become enamored w/my childhood Mary statue and carries her everywhere like a doll; she was also given a handmade one by one of the sushi chefs at the restaurant – it’s made out of plastic coke bottle, dressed up like Mexican Mary and she too travels w/Caucasian Mary. Yesterday they purchased a resin Mary and a 5x7 photo to go along w/nightlight. Go figure Alethea would have a child who has taken to religious statues.

*****UPDATED 5/17*****


Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Please Enjoy the Music While Your Party is Reached...



Hey, at least it's not Buttah anymore, right?

Just dropping in to say that I am still alive and I miss this place. My month and a half long hiatus was not planned. But never fear, I will be back within the next few days with an arsenal of reasons and excuses for my absence. I will also return with a plethora of posts, chalk-full of all sorts of nuggets of insight for you to enjoy, so get ready.

Cau for now.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Buttah...

An Amateur Review of Musical Greatness

I'd like to state for the record that a) I am not a musician, b) I cannot carry a tune, and c) my dance moves are often questionable. But trust me when I say that I know good music when I hear it. And for the past 5 days I've been hearing it. The source of my musical epiphany comes from the direction of one of the greatest bands of all time - U2. That's right folks, they're still around, they're still effing awesome, and they've got a new CD to prove it.

If I had to describe U2's 12th studio album No Line on the Horizon in one word I would say buttah. Weird, I know. But think about it. Buttah. It's warm, it drips, and it oozes all over. Can you see it now? Drip. Drip. It drips heavy bass. Slowly it works it's way down into your stomach, coating and spreading - like that Pepto commercial.

The first song, No line on the Horizon. It gets you movin and brings a smile to your lips. A first taste if you will. Must. have. more. And then, everything about song #3 Moment of Surrender is an emotion-packed journey. From the funky little drum-beat up front coupled with some soulful lyrics, to that sexy bass sound that makes the upper abdominals clinch like they've been punched. My lack of musical inclination makes me painfully aware of my lack of musical vocab. Towards the end of this ballad you get all warm and fuzzy-like, and everything is electric-sounding. It makes me squinch my eyes tight in a good way as he sings:

I was speeding off the subway
Through the stations of the cross

Every eye looking every other way

Counting down till the pain will stop


At the moment of surrender

A vision of a visibility

I did not notice the passers by

And they did not notice me


Unknown Caller's got this crazy little guitar beat in the beginning and then manages to go out with a hymnal-like piece. And then, Get on Your Boots gets my head bobbing back and forth and in a circular motion. That one took a little time but it now vibrates out my fingers and toes. The album works its way through your system, like I said, dripping. Bono's voice is hauntingly rich and so much of the music is comfortingly reminiscent of Joshua Tree and Achtung while surprisingly fresh a la' All That You Can't Leave Behind. By Cedars of Lebanon I'm mentally in fetal - again, in a good way.

This is their 12th studio album and it's been almost 5 years since How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. I gotta say I was nervous. But in true U2 fashion, they totally delivered. They totally showed up. Current. Thought-provoking. Foot-stomping. Idealistic . True.

That's all I got.

PS - I've listened to it 100 times in the last 5 days. It's good. Trust me on this.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Lost S5:8 - Rewind

LaFleur - C
Sigh. Besides the fact that his eyes are shut, what else is wrong with this picture?
Within the first five minutes of the 8th episode of the fifth season, I was bored. Bor-red. What's wrong with this picture is that it that it had the exact opposite reaction on me than I think the writers originally intended. My (spoiler free) shock meter barely registered a blip during the entire 60 minutes and I found myself insulted. Downright insulted I tell ya. Unlike many of my friends, I felt that this episode had few reveals and set us up for a bad season of That 70's Show, the Dharma Years.

Here's what we(I) learned:

1. Meet Jim LaFleur. AKA: Sawyer. Bad-ass brooding Lostie turned Dharma jumpsuit wearing sensitive guy. Were any of you as unmoved as me when he went scurrying over that well wall only to be met abruptly by THE GROUND. Nice try Jim. Locke is so long gone he's already back. But 'e' for effort big guy.

2. And what's wrong with this picture my little Lostaritos? No, don't guess. I'll tell you. 3 years later and 30 years into the past, Juliet is a mechanic ya'll. A. Mechanic. But wait! After she changes your oil she will deliver your baby!
Speaking of which, at some point babies could be born on the island. This must have been before 'the incident'. Because after that, not even Juliet could birth no baby. Except Danielle. Oh, and Claire. Huh.

3. Hooked on Phonics worked for Jin.

4. Horace liked to indulge in the spirits. To the point of becoming unconscious and snoozing through the birth of his first child. His wife was still in love with her fist husband - who was killed by 'the hostiles' - and he (Horace) had a healthy fear of our loverly lashed Richard Alpert.

5. Gasp. This 1/3 glimpse of the 4-toed statue I think registered the biggest blip on my excite-o-meter and that's not saying much. For some serious statue related theories click here. We learned nothing from this screen cap. Nada. Nine. Noola. Best bet is Egyptian origin - red hieroglyphs on the countdown clock anyone? Anyone?

6. Bodies had to be buried, and quickly. Team Darlton was trying to tell us something when Amy insisted that the 2 Hostiles that killed her beloved Paul had to be buried. Like right then and there. This scene made us think back to the surprising deaths and odd burials of Russeau and Karl last season. That's all I got.

7. Jim and Juliet like, love each other. Great. Good for both of them. I applaud them in their ability to let go of the past and decide to be happy in the present. I mean the past. I mean the past-present. Whatever. Finally we get to see triangle-quadrangle free love. Uncomplicated and real...

8. Oh wait. Never mind. So much for her 'forgettable' face.

9. Jim LeFleur reveals his true petals - to Alpert. Confesses is more like it and he even name drops Locke while he's at it. No wonder the 2004 others revere John as such a god. His appearance was predicted for 50 years like he was the second coming or something. Suddenly his rock star status starts to make sense.

10. You can't change the past, Daniel said it himself. A touching little moment when he caught sight of tiny little red-headed Charlotte, running around alive as could be in Dharmaville. How much you wanna bet that he resists the urge to make contact with her for as long as possible, but in a last-ditch 'eff it' move, he grabs little unknowing Charlottte fiercely by the shoulders and angrily insists that should she ever return to the island SHE. WILL. DIE.

11. Thanks to my finely tuned all-things-Egypt radar I was quick to spot that Paul wore an Ankh around his neck and the ankh is the Egyptian hieroglyph for eternal life. Yes Darlton, we're paying attention.

See what I mean folks? Honestly, were any of you that wowed by any of the above? Seriously? Mostly below-par reveals with lots of filler dialogue and I really don't care that much that they're in the 70's. Here's hoping Smokie gets some camera time soon and bring on the Sun-Jin reunion!

Until then we gotta ask...
1. What did the Hostiles want with Paul's body?
2. How do those pesky Hostiles make it through the sonic fence when the likes of Smokie cannot?

3. Where the hell is Sun?

4. Who does Amy's baby grow up to be? And before you suggest Karl, consider that that would have made 2004 Karl 30. And 30 he clearly was not.