Monday, March 22, 2010

Lost S6:8 - Rewind

S6:8 - Recon - B-
The title of this episode had me believing that it would be more about recon as in reconnaissance. But I was wrong. Instead we were treated to another filler with less action, a lot of cameo's, and a whole bunch of cons. And re-cons. And re-cons. Not the best one of the season but certainly not the worst. You'll have to forgive my lack of pictures for this recap, there just wasn't enough time. Or wine. Bummer.

Son of bitch: Sawyer's first utterance of this episode was also Juliet's last before she and Jughead both blew - Son of a bitch. It was also what he uttered when at the end (yes I'm already at the end) of the episode his sideways self caught sideways hit-and-run Kate. Was it out of recognition of the 30 second elevator ride at the airport? A fleeting deja vu from another time-space continuum? Will we ever know?? In the opening scene I was happy to see him and Jin together still but creepy as hell to see them holed up at Claire's super creepy camp.

I was conned in the first 2 minutes. The Pigeon drop scene was the same one that we'd seen back in season 1 only this time it was a different kind of set up - Sawyer's a cop in sideways world. Didn't see that coming. And Miles is his sidekick - holla! Altho I gotta say that it was a little much for us to believe that part of the cop's job is to sleep with a married woman for the sake of a sting operation (or am I really that naive?). And the name Lafleur? Really guys? I dunno bout this...

Claire is totally effing creepy. And really effing crazy. Poor Kate. From the Jar Jar Binks road kill baby prop to the knife to the jugular and the half-baked look in Fayid's eyes, Kate knows she's not in Kansas anymore and has officially landed herself solidly in Camp Crazy. I laughed out loud (in disbelief) when Flocke planted a solid slap across Claire's crazy face. This is completely inappropriate says Flocke as he scolds crazy Claire like a child. Hilarious.

I'm the Smoke Man. Awesome. Just like that Flocke says it loud and proud and Sawyer doesn't even flinch. If someone had spoiled and announced a year ago that that's what we would find out at the end of the series I would have called total bull sh*t. And I refuse to believe that all Flocke wants to do is get off the damn island.

Charlotte = meh. I so did not care that Charlotte was the sideways blind date for LaFleur. I never liked her and still don't. She was totally digging around his drawer in search of something and then found his past, all nice and tidy, there for the looking. I'm surprised there wasn't a bow on it.

Not so super duper Cooper? I'd kinda thought that Locke's dad Cooper may not be all bad if he and sideways Locke have a happy sideways relationship but I was wrong. Sawyer may be a cop but he's still a little boy scorned on the inside over the death of his parents and who does he blame? Cooper of course. And that's why he went down under. Cop or not, he's hell bent on pay-backs.

Well hello Hydra Island. I was also unaffected by Sawyers's walk down memory lane, complete with the bear/sex cages and Kate's um, dress. That was just weird. Luckily things picked up when we saw the rotting Ajira flight corpses laid to rest in a pretty fly-infested pile and then enter the girl that played the roommate in the 1992 sleeper hit 'Singles'. Aka Zoe.

Recon. My thought: Sawyer was conned by Flocke to go over to Hydra Island. Flocke wanted Kate to himself for a spell and he also wanted to send Widmore a message. Then Sawyer was conned again by Zoe. I didn't buy her lone survivor story for a minute but I'd also completely let my guard down by forgetting that Widmore might be there too. Oops. Kev totally called it before I did. Just when I think that kid's not paying attention.... Sawyer's solution to all the conning business is to con Widmore into thinking he's delivering Flocke and then to con Flocke into thinking that he's conning Widmore, which he is, but he's still conning the con con con con... Whatever. You get it.

Little House on the Prairie is what happens to people who don't have cable. Trust me. Oh, and Michael Landon might be somewhat of a mystic... Ya hear that? That's what life's all about. Laughin and lovin each other. And knowin that people we love aren't really gone when they die. We have all the laughter and memories to sustain us til we see them again. Message received Pa Engles and Darlton.

Flocke is pulling out all the stops to woo Kate. After he sends Sawyer across the pond to Memory Lane and then successfully saves Kate from crazy-ass Claire, he takes Kate to the beach for a view of where Sawyer is and then sits her down for a little heart to heart. He goes into a story which makes him sound more like our beloved lost Locke and less like a stack of smokey homicidal mania. Could Smokey be able to pull from Locke's own memories, complete with crazy mom? Kate's decision to not take Locke's hand when he offers her help to stand is an indication (I think) that she's still not committed to a team.

Introducing the Subbies. Or Team Widmore. Or what the hell ever I'm so sick of new people! The sonar fences that Widmore is setting up leads me to believe that he and Smokey aren't on the same team. But I also don't think he and Jacob are on the same team so.... What gives?

Sawyer is a Class 'S' driver. S as in sub that is. The closing scene with Sawyer back safely on a beach with his old friend Kate was almost comforting to see. But then he had to go and blow it by going where I'd hoped he wouldn't and said that they're not taking a plane off the island (thank God because that would have put me over the top, them not only fixing the damn thing but flying it too?), they're taking the sub off the island. Um, that makes me feel suffocated like I'm drowning just thinking about a total novice driving a getaway sub. But who knows, maybe he'll con someone with the know-how into doing it. That would definitely make me feel better.

So that's all I got. I know I missed huge chunks but time was not my friend this past week, I gotta say. I'll try to be better with tomorrow's Lovely Lashed Alpert episode as I'm hoping for a butt-load of reveals and answers. Did you hear that Darlton? We want butt-loads.

PS - Yes, I totally noticed that unlike anyone else this season, Sawyer took the time to destroy his mirror image. His looking glass self (Jack's temper tantrum at the light house wasn't quite the same). His badge in sideways world is not enough to keep him on the straight and narrow. Some things just can't be helped. Oh, and shout out to Charlie's Liam who'd come to bail his baby brother out of LA jail. Cute.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Almost There

The other night I was talking to Marina about a reoccurring dream that I've been having lately. A long stretch of road and I'm running. No cars, no one else there, just me. And I'm running. Sometimes there's music a'la Yann Tiersen. And sometimes there is only the sound of my rhythmic breathing, patterned to my running steps. I've worked on that pattern for years. I miss it. So the road is long and seems to go on forever, much like my ankle injury which came to be 6 months and 6 days ago. But now there's end in sight. Finally.

It's been 3 weeks since my last (and only) surgery and these are my updates:

Update #1: This still sucks. And it's still depressing. I'm on the road to recovery, I know this. But until I reach 'recovery', this road still kinda sucks.

Update #2: Good news - I'm outta the cast! This was exciting for me as I went in for my 2-week post-op appointment knowing that I would have sweet freedom from that 30 pound (or so it felt) plaster beast upon my leg. It was itchy and uncomfortable and I longed for a day where my showers/baths could be solo missions and trash bag-free. No offense Mom and Kev, you guys did bang-up jobs in that department, but still.

Update #3: Bad News - I was sentenced to 4 MORE WEEKS ON THESE EFFING CRUTCHES. Talk about deflating. I knew going into the appointment that I would get my old friend the boot back but I guess I'd envisioned the whole cast-liberation a little differently than it actually went down.

Here's what I'd envisioned: Cast is removed. Doctors and nurses 'oh' and 'ah' at my miraculous recovery. I carefully swing my feet to the floor, everyone holds there breath as I stand and find my balance. Then, a collective sigh of relief as I take slow but steady steps across the hospital floor. There might even be bright lights shining and music playing. Is that a choir I hear? Al-leluia! Cue applause. Then, scene.

And here's how it really went down: Cast is removed. 'Who's skinny little leg is that?' I wonder. The atrophy was shocking to a woman who spent half her life playing soccer and has the legs (leg) to prove it. Sutures removed - ouch! Doc Lehman starts talking about the little daily exercises I need to do to build mobility back up but I'm distracted by the lack of mobility that I currently have, not to mention the hair growth that has amassed - gross. I tune back in when talks turn to the boot, wear it at all times, no weight on the foot, 4 more weeks, crutches.... huh? Wha? 4 more what on what? 'Oh, didn't I tell you after the surgery?' I tell him that he could have told me a lot of things but unless it was tattooed on my hand I would not have remembered. Fug.

The explanation: I did a really good job at making things worse for myself over the course of 6 months. There, I said it. But I gotta say, part of it was doc's orders. Or physical therapist's orders. After doing some time on crutches at the outset, I was told to get off of them and start to use my foot, build the strength back up. Me thinks I took it too far. My excuse - I have 2 physically demanding jobs. And I'm stubborn bordering on foolish at times. In addition to the ligament damage, I acquired a lot of scar tissue, joint damage and cartilage gone MIA. As a result they ended up having to scrape the ever-loving heck out of my ankle, clearing out the cartilage and what-not. Thus, staying off the ankle until said cartilage has time to regenerate - cool.

Wanna look inside my ankle?
Above left and right, silky smooth plains of how the cartilage and joints should look.

The icky clumpy cartilage on the above right has been removed in above left.

'Floating cartilage' above left is being removed in above right.

What lies ahead: 19 days. I've got some nice callouses rocking under my armpits just in time for tank top weather. I'm sucking it up and behaving, staying off my foot, doing my exercises like a good little patient. I fall on occasion - storm doors are my enemy. And when I find myself starting to fall I've learned to just go with it and not attempt to use my foot to regain balance because I've tried that and it just doesn't work. It's left me with some unsavory bruises here and there, but not where anyone will see them. My porch is also on the mend and I suspect that that, coupled with the glory of spring (when it finally decides to arrive and stay) will aid greatly to my healing process. And then, yoga.

Yes, there are indeed brighter days ahead. And until then, I have excellent friends, neighbors, and family to whom I will be forever grateful. You have shown me much care, patience, and fun even.

Thank you so much, I am lucky to have you.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Bono-Vedder Cocktail


It's like a trinity. If Bono was God, then Eddie Vedder would be Jesus.
- Frankie, Dream for an Insomniac

By the way, in that movie the Holy Spirit is Frank Sinatra but I digress...

Believe me when I say that stumbling across a playlist of U2's 'Under a Blood Red Sky' shuffled with Pearl Jam's 'Backspacer' is one of my happiest accidents of 2010. Granted, it's only mid-March, but I first heard this decade-spanning goodness on January 1. I was sipping on my Kettle One, up & dirty in the bar at Naked Chopstix when my ears tuned into the voices of two of my greats - Bono and Vedder. And I admit, I was so distracted by their timeless voices that have evoked butterflies in my tummy for decades, that it took me a while before I realized that I was bouncing back and forth between just that - decades. 1984 and 2009 to be exact.

I was intrigued. Confession #2: I hadn't listened to 'Under a Blood Red Sky' as a full album in like 10 years. Maybe more. Maybe not since I snagged the cassette tape from my sister in junior high and later denied it profusely. Early 90's at least. Have always loved it though. And then there's Backspacer. Pearl Jam's most recent release from September 2009. Post-Bush era so it had to be good. The first song I heard from that album was Just Breathe. Gave me goosebumps. It was like velvety smooth yum. I had to have it. Could not wait to hear the rest of the album. With a limited release I was happy to have it in my hot little clutches.

I listened once. Twice. And then thought 'meh'. I found myself under the spell of Vedder's hypnotic vocal stylings - timeless - as he crooned Just Breathe and The End. But I found myself unable to be swept away by the rest of the punky little tunes like Gonna See My Friend and Got Some. I liked them. Didn't love them. Until now. Now, I've found Backspacer's missing piece. Or the bartender at Naked Chopstix did. Props brother. That magical shuffle has played a 100 times at least, throughout my house on gray days, in my car on sunny ones, and even for my own little ears at work - Dear co-workers, this is the reason for my half smile and dreamy look as I crunch out metrics and budget numbers at my desk. It's not the pain meds, I swear.

But seriously, you should try it.

80's Bono + 21st century Vedder = greatness.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Lost S6:7 Rewind

Dr. Linus - B+

While this episode didn't deliver the same punch-you-in-the-gut blow that Sundown did, Dr. Linus still managed to maintain this final season's momentum by answering some age-old questions, generating some chuckles, and dropping some jaws, not to mention evoking a tear or two. Once again I say to thee, well done gentlemen as you have served up yet another juicy episode full of faith, redemption and THE BEACH! Now let's get hashing...

It's Dr. Linus, actually. In sideways world Ben is a lowly history teacher who is frustrated with the man in charge. Principal Reynolds is an administrator, not a teacher, and unlike Dr. Linus his priority is not taking care of the kids. Sideways Linus vents his frustrations over lunch to an equally frustrated and formaldehyde-covered Arnzt (a reference to his dead state on Crap-Hole Island and does this mean that Dr. Linus isn't one of the cool kids either?) and the substitute - Mr. Locke. Ironically, Mr. Locke encourages Dr. Linus to make a change and perhaps become the man in charge.

Roger Workman is sideways. In a moving sideways scene we get to witness Roger, alive (barely) and kicking, being cared for by his doting son Ben. Wow. I did not see that coming. And for the first time this season we get a sideways reference to the island. They were on it at one point many moons ago and Roger still wonders what would have happened if they'd never left. This leads us to believe that they were made to leave before the incident that was conceived of by Daniel and carried out by our Losties in 1977. And in a fun little twist of irony we see a sideways Ben once again gassing his dad only this time it's so that he will continue to live as opposed to the oh-so shocking scene in Man Behind the Curtain (see S3:12) where Ben artfully gasses his poor Roger Workman to death and then aides in taking out the rest of the Dharma Initiative.

And the #42 spot goes to... I was relieved (sorta) to know that Illana is as equally confused about which Kwon applies to the #42 spot on Jacob's list of candidates as we are.

Cheese curds. Hilarious.

The island still got you in the end, didn't it? A very telling line by Ben when Lapidus wonders out loud how different his life would have been had he not over-slept and actually piloted the original flight 815. Another 'What if'. Interesting.

Uh-oh. Body guard Illana was clever enough to get Miles to reveal what the rest of us are still reeling from: It was Island Ben, with the knife, in The Temple who offed her father-figure Jacob. Ben knows he's screwed and even tries to make light of Miles's accusation but Illana knows better and before we know it she has a scared-shitless Ben at gunpoint, chained to a tree and digging his own grave on Boone Hill.

Sideways Ben will do anything to help sideways Alex. I love that Alex is one of Ben's student's in sideways world. She's also one of his brightest. She appeals to him for extra help studying for AP exams and during the study session she unloads the goods on Principal Reynolds. Ben's ticket to the top if you will. She also admits that she needs Reynold's letter of recommendation to get into a good college because she could never afford to go on the 2 salaries that her mom makes (Any guesses as to what 2 - let alone 1 - jobs Rousseau could have? Once again the mind reels).

Miles is a vat of information. I love this guy. Not only is he already staking claim to Nikki and Paulo's 8M in diamonds that are sprinkled in their graves, but he also tells Ben that Jacob's last thoughts in his final moments of life had him hoping that he'd been wrong about Ben and Ben is visibly shaken by the information.

Jacob's touch breeds life eternal. There. He said it. The mystery to Ageless Richard revealed. Jacob's touch gave him 'the gift' of eternal life and he's not happy about it. Now Jacob's dead so he's ready to die too. Faith no longer in tact, he feels that his entire life no longer has purpose since he will never know what Jacob's plan was for him. Sad. So he enlists the help of the New Jack to end his life with a little help from some dynamite (since he apparently cannot end his own). That makes me wonder that Locke probably would not have been able to successfully hang himself back in the day either. When the New Jack with that new crazed look in his eye accepts the job and even opts to stick for the fireworks, I laughed out loud when Hugo was like Whatever dude, I'll be like a mile away. The fuse not surprisingly fails and armed with the knowledge that Jacob has been watching him since he was a young boy so he must be indestructable, the New Jack now is now a man of faith. Faith that there is a reason for all of it. A reason for them to be there. And where does he wanna go? Back to where it all started. Their island home-sweet-home - back to the beach. And PS, we also learned that Richard more than likely came to the island via The Black Rock - again with the chains.

Ben's shot at sideways redemption: In an attempt to become the man in charge, Dr. Linus tries to blackmail Principal Reynolds but before he can finish his threat, Reynolds one-ups him by pulling up Alex's request for a recommendation to Yale. And then he lays his cards on the table. Ben must choose the potential of power of the potential of Alex. Deja vu. Only this time, Ben gets it right, and chooses Alex. Tug. Well done sideways Ben, you have in fact redeemed your sideways self. Woot.
Ben's shot at island redemption: Flocke appears to a grave digging Ben and offers him what he thinks might be his hearts desire: a shot at being the island man in charge. All he has to do is join his team. He even Jedi mind tricks his chains free for effect and points the way to the nearest gun because it's very important that he kill Illana, the last of the island body guards. With his sideways redemption in tact I was more than disappointed to see him make a run for it but then he surprised me. While holding Illana at gunpoint he bares his soul to her, revealing through tears and an Emmy-worthy monologue that years before he mistakenly chose the island over Alex and that in the end it wasn't the power that mattered most, it was his daughter. Snap Flocke. He begs forgiveness for the death of Jacob and just when I don't think I can take anymore, he then begs for her to let him go to Team Flocke, the only one that will have him. Her response? I'll have you. It just doesn't get any better than that folks. Island Ben has been redeemed by a faithful Illana.

Introducing Team Jacob. Team Jacob is slowly comprising itself with an unexpected cast of characters and poetically it's all being done at the beach. Our beach. Sun is fixing her tarp like old times when the music cues and the montage begins and Jack, Hurley, and Richard are reunited with their new - and old - team mates, and although Richard and Ben are present it's interesting to see how they stand off to the side. Not quite sure how to fit in. But they do and that's what's important.

He's baaaaaack. Just when we start to feel all warm and fuzzy inside, Darlton drops a mini Jughead on us in the form of a periscope attached to a submarine attached to the once banned Mr. Charles Widmore.Whew. Is this who Jacob was referring to would be coming to the island? Is this how Flocke/MIB/Smokey/Evil Incarnate plans to get his team off the island? And where is Desmond dammit?!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Lost S6:6 - Rewind


S6:6 Sundown - A*

Um, show of hands those of you who were rendered speechless by Sundown's end, soon followed by What the hell just happened? I haven't had that gut-punching feeling since The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham (see S5:7) and it was glorious. So much effing awesome happened in the final 10 minutes of the sixth episode of the sixth and final season of one of the world's greatest shows to ever hit, well, the world, that I almost only want to talk about those last 10 minutes. But I can't. Darlton built up the show's momentum almost painfully slow, like the Cliffhanger ride at Six Flags over Texas. It takes forever to get to the top, and once there you barely have time for a breath before you're falling hard and fast - maybe your life flashes before your eyes. Once you get to the bottom, you're alive (barely) and speechless, until finally you squeak out What the hell just happened?

Fasten your safety belts boys and girls cuz here's what I noticed...

Yellow roses are not for lovers. When Sayid got out of the cab with the lovely long stems I knew that he was not going to see a lady love. It was so great to see Nadia alive and kicking and I managed a grin when Uncle Sayid was flanked by his niece and nephew.

Brotherly Love. On the left, cowardly big brother Omer who could not bring himself to kill a chicken for his father. On the right, little bro Sayid who was able to deftly commit chickencide for his brother without hesitation. Present-day Sideways World Omer is still trying to play that I know what kind of man you are' card with Sayid but things have changed. In this world Omer is still big bro to Sayid, but he's also husband to Sideways Nadia, dry cleaner mogul and shady businessman. So shady in fact that he tried to guilt his baby sideways bro into bailing him out Republican Guard style. Sayid's response? I'm not that kind of man anymore. Snap. And tug. 815 landed and he was a changed man - or trying to be. Sayid's struggle for redemption in both worlds was the theme of the night and for the first time this season a Lostie didn't win in either one.

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting. Kick-ass fight scene - literally - between island Sayid and Master Dogen. It almost ran too long and I couldn't believe that a freakin baseball, the baseball, falling to the floor was the thing that broke it up.

Welcome back to the circus. The casual way that Claire is able to stroll into the temple with an unknowing Kate just moments behind her is troubling. Why did Kate decide to go back to The Temple? Hasn't she been gone for like half a day? And how does Miles consider Claire as still hot? She's like crawling with ticks and fleas and stuff. Ew. And then down the rabbit hole she went.

Introducing Evil Incarnate. According to Dogen this evil incarnate is an angry man who has been trapped but is now free because Jacob is dead. He will not stop until everything on the island is destroyed. Sayid's last shot at island redemption involves a suicide mission to kill said evil incarnate who will appear to him in the form of someone he knows, someone who has died. And by the way, stab him before he has the chance to speak. And Sayid buys it, hook, line and sinker. For the record, while evil incarnate adequately describes the whole Man in Black-Smoke Monster-body snatching-Flocke guy, I'm still looking for a better name. We could anagram 'evil' and get 'Levi'? I'm open to suggestions.

What's up Levi? I know, it's still a working name. Sayid's redemption mission fails big time and instead Flocke (Levi) plays the whole switch-a-roo and lets him know that he was sent on a suicide mission and shame on him. Then, those famous words 'What if I said you could have anything you wanted?' In sideways world he kind of does. All he has to do is deliver a message that will be the final undoing of The Temple. He convinces its dwellers that Jacob is dead and that 'the man in the jungle' will take them off the island. If they stay in the temple past sundown they'll die. So much for redemption Sayid.

Catch a Falling Star. I used to like that song. I used to love that song. But now, it gives me chills. Coupled with a slow exodus scene from The Temple it was downright creepy.

Keamy and Jin are sideways too! Keamy (who killed Alex daughter-of-Ben) is still a rat bastard in sideways world. He was the one who was extorting Omer and when he kidnapped Sayid he sealed his own fate. Sideways Sayid offed Keamy and his sidekicks to save his own ass and the asses of those that he loves. Oh, and Sideways Jin was tied up in the walk-in so I guess he saved Jin's ass too. Wonder if Keamy and Co. were connected with Sun's father and that blasted watch? And I repeat, so much for redemption Sayid.

Jacob drives a hard bargain. Poor Dogen. He has utterly failed as Temple Master. He was doing fine until those stupid Losties came and messed it all up. Coming in and out at all hours like they owned the place, he has lost control. Sayid's return from his meeting with the devil incarnate and meets up in the 'pool room' with the defeated Dogen. In this amazing scene we find out that the baseball hitting the floor was actually Jacob giving Dogen the subtle minder Hey man, remember the rules and don't forget why you're here. You can't kill a candidate and you gotta protect the temple so your kid can live in an alternate/sideways world where you can
never see him. Got it. Side note: The deal that Dogen made with Jacob where his son gets to live but he doesn't get to ever see him again because he has to report to Crap Hole Island instead is oddly reminiscent of the deal that Ben gave Juliet when she was recruited to the Crap Hole Island: Come work for Mittelos ('timelost' - wha?!) and we'll cure your sister of cancer - Oh, and you can never see her again. Yes, Jacob drives a hard bargain.

Two for the Road. The next scene went down just like Two for the Road back in S2:20, completely with a bug-eyed Ben walking in on a growing body count at the hands of one our beloved Losties. We witnessed Sayid drowning Dogen in the pool after hearing his tale of woe (Sayid was also drowned in that pool and if memory serves that's the place to go to be reborn like Ben and stuff), officially disarming the last of The Temple's defenses. We heard it. Smokey was on his way and when Lennon came in to yell at Sayid to warn him of what he had just done, Sayid offed him to with a knife to the throat. Wow.


Who's that girl? This woman remains a mystery and showed up with the B Team (Ben, Lapidus and Sun) just in time (once again) as Smokey was wreaking havoc on The Temple. She of course knew the secret passages to save their arses and even stopped to grab Miles - whew.

The wrath of evil incarnate. Smokey came into The Temple with an unholy vengeance and swiftly took out all who'd remained, as promised. Kate misses Smokey by a hair but I'd be tempted to know what would would have happened because remember boys and girls, Smokey's had his chance with her before and didn't take her. Cue spookey music and slow motion as we witness another famous exodus, led by Flocke, with his new team amassed, complete with his star acquisition Sayid, Claire, and Kate. Wha?

Thoughts on Kate #51. Remember, Kate's been 'touched' by Jacob, so according to the rules she's safe. Smokey can't kill her. She's also not on the list of candidates altho I firmly believe that she still serves a very crucial purpose for whomever's team she ends up on due to her ties to 2 of the candidates Jack and Sawyer. That's right. She could be the very key to encouraging (unknowingly) a final alliance. Did you see Flocke's face when she strolled out with Sayid (Fayid?) and Claire? The briefest moment of shock. He totally hadn't counted on this little follower but she could be his happiest accident yet.

My brain hurts.

* In it's original conception this episode recap received an A-. But after 72 hours confined to a couch and plenty of time for re-watching and inner theorizing the rating was upgraded to a solid A. The first 50 minutes were slow as all get out but they were rife with substance. Thank you Darlton.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Wonder Woman I'm Not


Post-Op Day 5 and my super powers of self healing seem to be failing me. Pre-op my spirits were high and the banter was flowing. I almost peed myself when one of the nurses mistook Kevin for MY DAD (it was the furrowed brows of concern that aged his precious face), and the last thing I could remember before drifting off into an anesthesia-induced slumber was making a smart ass comment when asked which ankle they were going to be working on. Next thing I knew I was waking up and it was a whopping 40 minutes later. I was ravenous. I like to think I wowed the docs and everyone else with my lack of nausea and growing enthusiasm for a big fat dinner. After almost 20 hours of fasting Wonder Woman needed some fuel. My spirits were high as I was escorted home by my familial entourage and I was promptly set upright on the couch, remote in one hand, hot tea in the other. This is gonna be cake I thought smugly. With the first round of percocet coursing through my veins, mom whipped up the kind of grilled cheese that only moms can make and we began watching the first hours of what would be a 4 day marathon of old movie and bad tv watching.

As the evening progressed, I began to feel the presence of an ominous force. My super powers began to falter as the nausea set in. Sleep was out of my reach and Mom was a good sport as she made sure that I took the pain meds like clockwork and even sat through The Bodyguard at 3 am. A movie that can only be sat through at that time of day. By day 2 the nausea had not dissipated and my cheeks started to flush. I began to fidget and itch like a crazy person. The end of my nose itched the worst (oddly) and when the raised bumps on my cheeks appeared I decided to do some research. Yes, it took all those red flags and someone holding a giant sign for us to learn that I had an allergy to Percocet. Booo. I had high hopes for that little pill. Why couldn't I get one of those other reactions that 'may occur' like euphoria? The switch to hydrocodone and some anti-nausea pills did the trick and long sweet slumbers were mine once again.

For the record, I'm really not a fan of taking all these pills. I hate it in fact. But I succumbed (what a strange word that is) to the fact that this is one pickle that I can't green tea my way out of. I both appreciated and cringed at the med chart that my mom left. It reminds me of when she would go to Grammie's and organize all of her meds and pills and whip out the charts and schedules. Hi, I'm 80. But I let her do it because it needed to be done and lord knows I would not have done that for myself. But I digress.

I said good-bye to what was left of my pride on Sunday when Mom announced that it was time for a bath. Yikes. Not an easy task and all I could think was if there are 2 people in the world that I could be less self-conscious with it was my mom and my husband. Apparently when you have kids you have to add more names to that list. It was definitely a group effort and she was hell bent on making it work so that it would continue after her departure. Maybe tomorrow we will try bath #2.

The days have passed slowly and peacefully. Friends stopped by and flowers arrived and the ankle continues to heal. I got permission to work from home starting today (Tuesday). I don't know if that's normal but I think that at this point my co-workers would do just about anything to a) keep me off my feet so I can b) hurry up and heal already be ready for the Spring and Summer storms - I mean programs. Truth be told I actually got quite a bit of work accomplished from the confines of my couch while stuck in my pj's. Now that I'm left to my own devices during the day I'm having to be innovative in the way that I acquire meals and beverages. It keeps things interesting.

The upstairs part of the house is off limits without adult supervision so my travel radius is short and with only one day of flying solo under my belt I can already see that this might be the longest week of my life. I came close to o.d.-ing on trash tv today (and last night). This was realized when Kev came home to discover that I had actually DVR'd the Kardashian biography so I could watch an expose' on female body builders - Damn you E! Network! So I will have to declare tomorrow as No TV Wednesday if only to maintain my sanity and intellect. Turn up the tunes and turn off the tv. I will also make sure all the blinds are open so I can absorb what I can of the new March sun and try to figure out a way to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen to the living room while both hands are occupied by my crutches.

Yep, tomorrow's gonna be a big day.