Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Wonder Woman I'm Not

Post-Op Day 5 and my super powers of self healing seem to be failing me. Pre-op my spirits were high and the banter was flowing. I almost peed myself when one of the nurses mistook Kevin for MY DAD (it was the furrowed brows of concern that aged his precious face), and the last thing I could remember before drifting off into an anesthesia-induced slumber was making a smart ass comment when asked which ankle they were going to be working on. Next thing I knew I was waking up and it was a whopping 40 minutes later. I was ravenous. I like to think I wowed the docs and everyone else with my lack of nausea and growing enthusiasm for a big fat dinner. After almost 20 hours of fasting Wonder Woman needed some fuel. My spirits were high as I was escorted home by my familial entourage and I was promptly set upright on the couch, remote in one hand, hot tea in the other. This is gonna be cake I thought smugly. With the first round of percocet coursing through my veins, mom whipped up the kind of grilled cheese that only moms can make and we began watching the first hours of what would be a 4 day marathon of old movie and bad tv watching.

As the evening progressed, I began to feel the presence of an ominous force. My super powers began to falter as the nausea set in. Sleep was out of my reach and Mom was a good sport as she made sure that I took the pain meds like clockwork and even sat through The Bodyguard at 3 am. A movie that can only be sat through at that time of day. By day 2 the nausea had not dissipated and my cheeks started to flush. I began to fidget and itch like a crazy person. The end of my nose itched the worst (oddly) and when the raised bumps on my cheeks appeared I decided to do some research. Yes, it took all those red flags and someone holding a giant sign for us to learn that I had an allergy to Percocet. Booo. I had high hopes for that little pill. Why couldn't I get one of those other reactions that 'may occur' like euphoria? The switch to hydrocodone and some anti-nausea pills did the trick and long sweet slumbers were mine once again.

For the record, I'm really not a fan of taking all these pills. I hate it in fact. But I succumbed (what a strange word that is) to the fact that this is one pickle that I can't green tea my way out of. I both appreciated and cringed at the med chart that my mom left. It reminds me of when she would go to Grammie's and organize all of her meds and pills and whip out the charts and schedules. Hi, I'm 80. But I let her do it because it needed to be done and lord knows I would not have done that for myself. But I digress.

I said good-bye to what was left of my pride on Sunday when Mom announced that it was time for a bath. Yikes. Not an easy task and all I could think was if there are 2 people in the world that I could be less self-conscious with it was my mom and my husband. Apparently when you have kids you have to add more names to that list. It was definitely a group effort and she was hell bent on making it work so that it would continue after her departure. Maybe tomorrow we will try bath #2.

The days have passed slowly and peacefully. Friends stopped by and flowers arrived and the ankle continues to heal. I got permission to work from home starting today (Tuesday). I don't know if that's normal but I think that at this point my co-workers would do just about anything to a) keep me off my feet so I can b) hurry up and heal already be ready for the Spring and Summer storms - I mean programs. Truth be told I actually got quite a bit of work accomplished from the confines of my couch while stuck in my pj's. Now that I'm left to my own devices during the day I'm having to be innovative in the way that I acquire meals and beverages. It keeps things interesting.

The upstairs part of the house is off limits without adult supervision so my travel radius is short and with only one day of flying solo under my belt I can already see that this might be the longest week of my life. I came close to o.d.-ing on trash tv today (and last night). This was realized when Kev came home to discover that I had actually DVR'd the Kardashian biography so I could watch an expose' on female body builders - Damn you E! Network! So I will have to declare tomorrow as No TV Wednesday if only to maintain my sanity and intellect. Turn up the tunes and turn off the tv. I will also make sure all the blinds are open so I can absorb what I can of the new March sun and try to figure out a way to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen to the living room while both hands are occupied by my crutches.

Yep, tomorrow's gonna be a big day.

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