Sunday, January 30, 2011

What do Cake, Jesus, and Gene Simmons have in common?


Last night my sis and I had a 64 minute 'sisters-in-need-of-cheering-up-chat' which of course did its magic on both sides when it was all said and done.  The highlight was when Kev came down for a refill and asked what all the 'ruckus' was about.  I hit 'speaker' while Al was in mid-sentence and let nature take it's course...

Al: ...and I was like, 'Jed, you have to get your own case because mine is now messed up like yours'.  And he was like, 'I do have my own', and I was like 'Well then stop using mine' because really mine used to be so clean and now it's not and...
Kev:  Hey Alethea!
Al:  Kev!  Hey!  Have you heard that Cake has a new album?
Kev:  Kiss?  No, is it good?  I don't really listen to them (although he totally listens to Cake).
Al:  You'll love it!  Oh my gosh it's so good, you should totally check it out!
Kev:  But I don't really follow Gene Simmons so I don't know if I'll listen to it.
Al:  Oh, I don't really follow Jesus either but that's ok, you'll still like it.

And this is why I love them both.

Friday, January 28, 2011

umph.

I hit a wall this week and I mean that both literally and figuratively.  Literally, I hit the wall in my parking garage at work.  I do that sometimes when I'm pulling in in the morning, usually running late.  Depending on how late I'm running, I might tap it just a bit or actually give it a nice 'umph'.  This week it was an umph.  This year is already an umph and it's only January.  I thought that by strategically not doing certain things that I would surely breeze my way through this year of twenty eleven - or whatever the kids are calling it - but it would seem that the universe had other plans for yours truly.  I got a big fat umph that makes me want to curl up on the couch or bed or any place soft (and really sometimes it doesn't even have to be soft) and turn out the lights and tune out the world for a while because I'm certain that given the chance, the universe will smack me with more umph and really I've had enough for the month so if the next smack down could please hold off til February - of even March - I would be grateful. Thank you.

Yes, that's where I'm at.  But even at the root of this cynicism and, let's just say it - funk - lies the heart and soul of a painful optimist.  While I fully acknowledge that my crisis of umph may be small on a global scale, I'm pretty confident that I'm emotionally not capable of handling much more at this point.  Call me weak but I call it tired.  All of that said, I like to think that on that same global scale, I'm a really good strong person and surely the universe has a wah-bam of good just awaitin around the corner for me, right?  And for the record I'm willing to wait for it, although it might be from the confines of that bed or couch, I will wait for it but I choose to wallow for just a bit longer.  If you typically hear from me outside of Schovillova then you probably haven't heard from me.  But don't worry because here I am, my mom, sister, and Kevin can vouch for my existence.  I'm at work.  I'm at the studio.  And there's light, I can see it.   But you just can't see me under my cloak of invisibility.  I'll come out eventually.

That's all I got.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Friday Night Chats.

Yesterday we decided to go to a movie.  Someone was going to look up the when's and the where's.  We get in the car at 6:37 and head north.  At 6:45 this went down...

Kev:  Where are we going?
Nic:  To a movie.
Kev:  Which one?
Nic:  The King's Speech?
Kev:  Did you look it up?
Nic:  Um, not really.  Did you?
Kev:  Nah.  I think it's at Glendale.
Nic:  We passed that.  Are we going to Keystone (aka the Booze Theater)?
Kev:  I guess.  Do you know what time it starts there?
Nic:  7 maybe.
Kev:  Do you know where we're going?
Nic:  To a movie.
Kev:  Inneresting.

I can't wait til we're 80.  We ended up seeing The Fighter at 7:30 and we had a bucket of beer to go with it.  Both excellent choices.

Bad.

My throat hurts.  This song found me yesterday in the car at an extremely loud decibel and at just the right moment.  It found me over and over and today it found me again for 2 hours in the car, up all the way, driving.  And when it finds you at that right time you have to turn it way up and really sing it in your throat.  Raw.  Until it hurts.  


If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would
Let it go
Surrender
Dislocate
If I could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
Through the rain
Into the half-light
Through the flame

If I could through myself
Set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day

Oooh oooh, oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh...

To let it go! And so fade away
To let it go!
And so fade away
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
Wide awake
I'm not sleeping, oh no, no, no

If you should ask then maybe they'd
Tell you what I would say
True colors fly in blue and black
Blue silken sky and burning flag
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes

Oooh oooh, oooh oooh, oooh oooh oooh...

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go

This desparation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Isolation

Let it go
And so fade away
To let it go, oh yeah
And so fade away
To let it go, oh No
And so fade away
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
Wide awake
I'm not sleeping oh no no


Delicious Home

Consider this redemption for my last video posts.  If you are human then I dare you to get through this without a) tearing up, b) getting goose bumps, or c) both.  See how diverse I am?  

No Judging.

I can't help it.  Snookie and JWoww are my new entertainment.  These videos crack. me. up.  I don't watch MTV Jersey Shore for the record but their videos are high-larious.  See for yourself.  It's PG-13 at least and unbelievable trashtastic.

Ok, ok, and this one.  Don't you dare judge me.  


This is what happens when I can't sleep.  

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Jane Austen Walks with Zombies and it's Freaking Awesome.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
For the record, Dearest Lizzy does not eat
Mr. Darcy's brains.
My name is Schovillova and I am a Jane Austen junkie.

Welcome to Longbourn, home of the Sisters Bennet.  Sword weilding ninja-trained sisters who are well known for not only their beauty, but their Zombie killings ways as well.   Unless you've been under a rock this past year, you've hopefully heard of this little phenom called Pride & Prejudice and Zombies (yes that's one title) and  ya'll, it's as awesome as it sounds.  Now, I may be a little premature in my labeling of 'awesome' as I'm only through the first half, but it really is smartly done believe it or not. 

Despite the zombies and the constant need to carry weapons, Seth Grahame-Smith still manages to maintain the original integrity of Austen's story:  2 sisters and 2 bachelors, with all of the same players.  He artfully intertwines Austen's witty humor and thoughtful dialogue with the undead and dojos and somehow it all makes sense in the English country side.  Even Elizabeth and her sociopathic tendency to want to slay anyone who dares disrespect she or her family remains as charming as ever.  But again, I'm only through the first half.


If you're any kind of P&P fan then these quotes will most certainly make you smile.  If you are not a P&P fan then you will probably think W.T.F.  WARNING:  Spoiler alert ahead!  Proceed with a light heart and open mind....
"No ninjas! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your safety."  If you're like me and pretty much have Austen's version of this line committed to memory then you should love this one.
"An accomplished woman is one who has a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing and the modern languages; she must be well trained in the fighting styles of the Kyoto masters and the modern tactics and weaponry of Europe."  By the way, Lady Catherine is the top martial arts specialist/zombie slayer in all of England.
"Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?  Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has been sculpted into a killer of the highest order, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?"
"If I have wounded your sister's feelings, it was done as a consequence of affection for my friend, and the belief that Miss Bennet had been cursed to wander the earth in search of brains."
And there you have it.  I'll suspend my rating until I finish the last drop, maybe even after I complete the questions at the end.  But trust me, there will be a rating.  
Cau for now.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2011 - The Year of the Un-Resolutions.

What's your unresolve?

That's right kids, I said the unresolutions.  For as long as I could write I've looked forward to the ol' new year resolutions.  Writing it all down, putting it out there, wiping the slate clean and starting afresh.  Sadly, I can't remember a time when my determination ever prevailed past January - ever.  But yet every year, bless my heart, I looked forward to that fresh start.  I can start my new organization in January.  I can start working out every day in January.  I can start going to bed and waking up earlier - in January.  And by February my lists started to disappear and by March they were nonexistent.  And it's not even like my resolutions were monumental tasks even, they were barely blips on the self improvement scale, but still, setting myself up for failure at the start of every year started to feel masochistic.  At some point I put down the pen and ditched the resolutions because really, who needs to start every year that way?  


Enter 2011 and I'm beginning to rethink my strategy of nonparticipation.  I kind of miss the challenge of the resolution.  You know, that hope and sweet optimism that comes with committing oneself to becoming a better human being and stuff.  Thus, I present to you, the unresolutions.  These I can handle.  These consist of those things which I will decidedly not do this year.  For example…

1.  I will not take up smoking, despite this post.
2.  I will not walk past a perfectly good climbing tree and not climb it if I'm wearing anything less that a heel and I'm not on crutches or drunk.
3.  I will not wake up early and go to bed early every day.
4.  I will not get botox.  It's just not on my radar.
5.  I will not pluck out every gray hair that I find.  Who has that kind of time?
6.  I will not obsess...  about most things.
7.  I will not take Xanex for every plain flight - only special occasions.
8.  I will not cut off my leg to lose 23 lbs., sorry Doctor Doom but I fired you’re butt.
9.  I will not leave my house without making my bed and I'm being totally serious when I say that.  At some point in 2010 it became a compulsion (not an obsession).  True story Mom.
10.  I will not steal a car.
11.  I will not see another movie with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.
12.  I will not stop writing because I honestly can't afford a therapist.

I’ll check back in February and let you know where I'm at in my mission of unresolve.  I think they’re doable – or not.   Anything extra is a bonus.  

Welcome to my 2011 ya’ll.