Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2011 - The Year of the Un-Resolutions.

What's your unresolve?

That's right kids, I said the unresolutions.  For as long as I could write I've looked forward to the ol' new year resolutions.  Writing it all down, putting it out there, wiping the slate clean and starting afresh.  Sadly, I can't remember a time when my determination ever prevailed past January - ever.  But yet every year, bless my heart, I looked forward to that fresh start.  I can start my new organization in January.  I can start working out every day in January.  I can start going to bed and waking up earlier - in January.  And by February my lists started to disappear and by March they were nonexistent.  And it's not even like my resolutions were monumental tasks even, they were barely blips on the self improvement scale, but still, setting myself up for failure at the start of every year started to feel masochistic.  At some point I put down the pen and ditched the resolutions because really, who needs to start every year that way?  

Enter 2011 and I'm beginning to rethink my strategy of nonparticipation.  I kind of miss the challenge of the resolution.  You know, that hope and sweet optimism that comes with committing oneself to becoming a better human being and stuff.  Thus, I present to you, the unresolutions.  These I can handle.  These consist of those things which I will decidedly not do this year.  For example…

1.  I will not take up smoking, despite this post.
2.  I will not walk past a perfectly good climbing tree and not climb it if I'm wearing anything less that a heel and I'm not on crutches or drunk.
3.  I will not wake up early and go to bed early every day.
4.  I will not get botox.  It's just not on my radar.
5.  I will not pluck out every gray hair that I find.  Who has that kind of time?
6.  I will not obsess...  about most things.
7.  I will not take Xanex for every plain flight - only special occasions.
8.  I will not cut off my leg to lose 23 lbs., sorry Doctor Doom but I fired you’re butt.
9.  I will not leave my house without making my bed and I'm being totally serious when I say that.  At some point in 2010 it became a compulsion (not an obsession).  True story Mom.
10.  I will not steal a car.
11.  I will not see another movie with Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.
12.  I will not stop writing because I honestly can't afford a therapist.

I’ll check back in February and let you know where I'm at in my mission of unresolve.  I think they’re doable – or not.   Anything extra is a bonus.  

Welcome to my 2011 ya’ll.


Anonymous said...

RE: making the bed - whoa! I've STOPPED making the bed everyday. Because I can! lova ya, Mom

Queen Kandis said...

Glad you fired your doctor! Hope you found one that isn't a moron.

I always keep my resolutions simple. This year I resolve to TRY to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables and to TRY to get more sleep. I also resolve to get my nose pierced.