I show up for an 'exam'. The doc (who has not yet been fired) needs to adjust his stool by old school turning the legs. Turning and turning. The nurse jumps in to help turn, back and forth debate going on as to whether or not the chair height is actually raising and I'm laying their like 'really? What year is this??' Then they decide the bed needs to be higher. The old school foot pedal sends me jerking towards the ceiling: 'Wonk! Wonk! Wonk!' Then, 'click clack, click clack'. No light emits from the welp, overhead light. 'Click clack'.
The doc: Nurse, can you find a light that works?
Nurse: Well this one usually does.
The doc: CAN YOU FIND ONE THAT DOES??
Nurse: Yes, I'll be right back.
The doc: I'm so sorry Nicole, it's not always like this.
Nurse: I found one that works - 'click'.
The doc (looking at the yellow Duracell flashlight and I swear I'm not making this up): Well, I'm glad that one works, but I don't think it will work.
1 minute later...
Nurse: How about this one? I think this one works.
Me: OMG it's a satellite! Are they gonna view this from space!?!?
The doc: No Nicole, they're not. And I swear it's not always like this. Nurse, can we raise her up a bit more?
Nurse: Wonk! Wonk! Wonk! Let's do this.
You can't make this shit up ya'll.