Thursday, May 19, 2011

When Zombies Attack.

I can't take credit for this but read it anyway, it could save your life.  The CDC got clever this week and posted an ad for disaster preparedness under the guise of 'What to do when the zombies take over'.  Ironically, as soon as they tweeted it out their blogsite crashed.  Ummm...  So in case it happens again, here's the long-short.  
Are you ready?
 1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure, contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
  2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home . . . or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
  3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are OK.
  4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry, they won't stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don't have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

It's amazing how these guidelines seem to fit for just about any major disaster, thank goodness.  Less for us to remember.  But let's be honest folks, in the case of a real zombie apolcalypse we'd all be toast.  Everyone knows that the average response to threat would be slower than the rate of growth, giving the zombie plague time to expand beyond containment.  Duh.  

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Putting It Out There

K, here it goes ya'll...
I think I can, I think I can...
I'm gonna sign up for the August 20th Sprint Triathlon and the September 3rd Women's Half Marathon.  Not only that but me thinks I'll even train for them and if all goes well, I will even participate in them.  As in compete.  But not compete like vying against one's neighbor and stuff but compete as in participate for sport. Seriously.

Why do I feel the need to post this as if it's something interesting for you to read?  Well kids, I need your help.  I needed to post this here for all of you and Future Me to witness, thus making me accountable for my whims.  So while these recent ambitions are still fresh and new, I wanted to get them in writing.  Needed to for me.  Besides, all the training will help balance out the increased wine calories that I'm sure to consume from my porch this summer.  

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Not Shocking...

Not better than the original.
Still the Queen of the Amazons.

Guess who got the ax even before getting an air date?  Sorry Mr. Kelley but I can't say that I'm surprised. And while we're at it, I also admit that I'm secretly relieved for I would have felt compelled to give the 'New Wonder Woman' a chance and would have sat through the pilot and who knows how many other episodes.  And I'm still not tooting my own horn or anything but it does give me comfort to know that I was not alone in the anti-costume backlash and apparently round 2 didn't fare much better.  But alas, the critics have spoken and it's official. Somethings are better left in their original format.  

Still #Furiouslyhappy

It's officially time to shake of the funk that was 2011's first quarter/third.  Spring is here finally and with it comes all thinks good and furiously freaking happy...
That's right ya'll,  it's that time.  Porch time.  I plan on clocking a lot of hours out here so get ready.  And speaking of porches...  

 Remember this hot mess?  You know, the 70 year old Saturday afternoon drunk that ran into my precious porch 2 years ago?  Well look at us now bitches...  

 Still a work in progress but it's progress none the less.  These bushes will be on fire come fall!

Ah yes, more progress.  Once over grown with tangled rogue rose bushes and poison ivy out the wazoo, this bed now lays home to peace and harmony and all things pretty.  Please note the painted yard art.  So far the best advice of 2011 and a fun new project!  
More on that later...

And last but not least, it's May here in Naptown and with that comes RACE SEASON!  Today we biked to and from IMS.  For us it was an ambitious 15 mile round-trip jaunt this early in the biking season, but as we know, life with Kev has its adventures.  Half way there we stopped for a quick breather and bevs with some college kids living just off the trail.  Strangers when we met but not when we parted.  At the track we were met with a momentary downpour and were forced to seek shelter in the drink pavilion.  Damn the luck.  On the way back we ran into some friends taking the same trail and then we were like a biker gang and it was awesome.  It was exhausting too but mostly awesome.   

Notice the sunny days, sky blue skies and overall stellar outdooredness of the above pics.  Yep, that's right.  It's spring ya'll.  It's time to get #furiouslyhappy.

Saturday, May 14, 2011


You can't make this stuff up. This totally happened.  Twice.

Thursday night texting with Co-worker Carrie:
cc:  What are you doing this eve?
me:  I taught til 8 then went to neighbors' - you?
cc:  Playing with cat and sister.
me:  Awwwww. #cutestthingever.  Penis still 11ish?  Can Katie go?
me:  Oh shit!  I said pedis!
me:  F*cking autocorrect!
cc:  Yes on both counts.

And as if that wasn't enough, auotcorrect bit me in the ass again the next morning...
me:  Getting penis before work - wooooo!
me:  Shit!  Pedi mom.  I'm getting a pedi before work.  F*cking autocorrect.
mom:  omg this made my day.  Thank you!

Did you miss me?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

What the H.

What the H ya'll, I haven't been this delinquent since 2010.  I feel so.... lazy.  Although I like to think I'm not, but still it feels that way. Is it a coincidence that my delinquency coincided with my acquisition?  Thank you Queenkandis for pointing that out.   I admit, has been a game changer for me but I will try to find my balance.  It's still early in the season - must. find. balance.  And the Rangers must find their wins again and unload some of that DL, huh?  Our outfielders that we started with have all been sidelined with injuries and it's only May.  Not only that, but they have managed to slip into a tie for second, 2 games away from first.  #toocloseforcomfort.  Fug.  

So here's some stuff that's been ahappenin lately and had I written it in the past then my present self would be like 'No way!'  But it's totally true Future Self so check this sh*t out:
I paid $4.19 for gas today which is an improvement over last week's $4.24 - no lie.  Thank you Jesus I only live a mile from work and Kev's commute will come to a halt this summer but it STILL SUCKS.
And also?  Donald Trump is considering a run for the 2012 Presidential race.  No, that's not a joke ya'll, it's like for real.  I pray for a Trump-Palin ticket.  Go ahead, chew on it.  
Osama Bin Laden no es mas.  So much for a life of impoverished cave dwelling, the world's most-wanted criminal was actually living large in a million dollar compound in the almost heart of Pakistan.  Shocking.  And as the announcements came rolling across the airwaves, the US rejoiced and danced in the streets, literally.  Not to steal anyone's thunder or rain on anyone's proverbial parade, but the celebratory wake that followed was what I thought was equivalent to sticking out our tongues at all of al-Qaeda and singing nannynannybooboo.  And by the way, I'm going to go ahead and put this out there: THE PUBLIC DOES NOT NEED TO SEE PHOTOS OF A BULLET THROUGH THE EYE.  What the hell is wrong with you people?

I couldn't resist.  I saved the best for last kids so hang onto your hats...  Hawaii is in fact a US state AND Barrack Obama is US CITIZEN.  Wow.  Once again in an attempt to quell the conservative masses our commander in chief gave in and released a copy of his birth certificate.  Again.  For weeks the Birthers (yes they needed  to name their patriotic 'movement') constructed their platform of truth, led by none other than the Trumpster himself.  And not shockingly, the release of the birth certificate has done nothing to shut them up.  For sheer entertainment here is some fun and irrational reading.
Are you freaking kidding me?  It's exhausting, really.
How sure are we that Hawaii was really a state by 1961?  I mean sure the books say 1959 but all of those could have been doctored too, right?  COME ON ALREADY!