Monday, June 20, 2011

Hi, yes, this is the Universe Calling.

I tried in vain to put off running yesterday.  Why?  Because I don't always like it.  I like the effects and sometimes its the only freaking thing that gets me away from my desk but really?  I'd rather be sitting on my porch with wine.  Or coffee.

Yesterday had all the promises of a lazy rainy Sunday, with little hope of running, despite my current 'training schedule'.  Kev tried to get me to go when we first got up but I distracted him with my yummy quiche (and no that's not a metaphor for anything else, it really was quiche - 2 kinds with tons of fresh herbs from my garden).   Then I distracted myself with neighbors.  Lots of them from all directions, convening on my beloved porch for coffee, quiche, fried rosemary (from my garden too - just call me Martha) potatoes and whatever else folks could find.  Hours were spent playing catch up as the gray skies spat and spewed and sometimes thinned just a bit.  But even with all of that goodness the running was never far from my mind. 

Why am I so anti-running all of a sudden?  I'll let you in on a little secret:  I don't like working out.  There, I said it.  Shocking, right?  This coming from a person who gets paid to get others to work out.  The irony is almost painful.  But I don't consider all activity that happens to burn calories to be a workout.  Heh-em.  Like Yoga.  Or leisurely biking.  Swimming mayhaps or even a run to de-stress (which I do frequently).  Those are outlets, not workouts.  The workout angst happens when, for example,  I start to train for something and all of a sudden the pressure of that alone is enough for me to psyche myself into a frenzy of negative inner dialogue that has me coming up with every excuse in the book to not do it.  Hence yesterday's quiche and neighbors.  Then it was work.  Then I had to go teach.

The excuses were justa piling up.  When I got done teaching I started to walk past the heated yoga room where a class had just started.  I looked outside to the sunny skies of early dusk with plenty of light for a few good miles.  I looked back to the heated yoga. Back to dusk.  I said eff it and went for the sweltering hot drippy slippy heated yoga class and it was glorious.  When I emerged an hour later, buzzing and energized, it was 7 p.m. and still perfectly light.  CURSES.  So I called my dad, after all it was Father's Day.  59 minutes later it was still light out and I had my running shoes on and could be heard uttering the words, Sorry Dad, I have to get a run in before it gets too dark.  I'm training you know.  So I hit the pavement sans ipod, hoping to just get through the next 3 miles without stopping or cutting short.  3 stinking miles:

You can do this.  But oh, how ridiculous running can be.  I mean really, why do I need to get there so quickly?  What am I running from?  To?  I'm just running in circles.  Jesus, are you kidding??  I'm only at 46th??  Fug.  This is torture.  Why do I do this to myself?  Maybe I could just walk for like 20 steps once I get to 52nd.  Who's gonna know?  I will!  Come on!  It's only three effing miles!  Get a hold of yourself girl.  Oh that damn quiche...

As me, myself, and I continued to trek along, the dialogue got louder.  Note to self, never run without your ipod ever again.  In fact don't do anything without your ipod ever again.  2 miles down and I hadn't stopped but was looking forward to the red light up ahead.  A little bitty pause was coming up.  As I reached the 46th St. (remember, I run in circles apparently) corner I was just about to take my delicious pause when the red light suddenly jumped to a bright loud green and I heard the words being shouted Damn girl!  Take pride in what you do!  But they weren't being shouted at me, they were being shouted at a rather mousey looking girl in the driver's seat of a little white Geo, being shouted by what appeared to be a very frustrated guy in the passenger's seat.  Ouch.  Although the message was not for me it was received.  Loud and clear.

Just past the shouting Geo, I slowed as I approached a very elderly woman, shuffling ever so slowly with her walker tight in hands.  Elbow held supportively and protectively by a younger gentleman, she inched her way to a vehicle on the street with little steps attached.  I slowed thinking that I would let her pass, knowing that I could have made it but still, I was still looking forward to a pause.  A breath.  But then she stopped instead and met my eyes as I continued to jog towards her.  She let go of her walker (you can't make this shit up) and gave me 2 thumbs up I swear to Jesus and said I used to do that.  Christ on crutches I smiled like the dickens and sprinted off, booking it the last half mile until I got to my door steps.

Ok Universe, I hear you loud and clear!  Take pride in what I do!  Keep going because I won't be able to do it forever!  I'm queen of the world!  I can do anything!  Then I walked into my kitchen and their was dog poop on the floor.  Yes Universe, I'm still listening.  

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