Friday, December 9, 2011

Are you ready for this?

You have no idea how I kick myself for not documenting this stuff better so that my Future Self - and you - can look back and remember that yes, this happened.  You just can't make this stuff up unless you're Christopher Guest.  I would totally go see this. Welcome to Indecision 2012 kids.  I promise to give more frequent updates as the chaos unfolds...

No joke ya'll, after being declared as good as dead (the campaign not the man) in May, Newt Gingrich has managed to emerge as the GOP flavor of the month.  Normally this would be a good thing for him but if the past 6 months has told us nothing else, it's that the number 1 man - or woman - has nowhere to go but down. 

July #1:  Bachmann
August/September #1:  Perry
October #1:  Caine
December #1:  Gingrich

Even after wrapping a bus and touring the nation, Palin finally declared herself to be both officially not running and also to officially be out of contention last spring.   
Trump's unofficial star also fizzled out in the spring after an almost maniacle campaign to debunk Obama's birth country came up bogus.  Seriously? And oh happy day, The Don still threatens to run as an Independent if he's not happy with the final GOP candidate!  I'm crossing my digits ya'll.
As of now, Bachmann is barely a blip on the radar and she still wants to set up a double-walled electric fence along the Mexico border.  And also?  Michele Bachmann legs is still the #1 way that people find my blog.  What the fug??
Perry's late summer entrance and rise was astonomical but his evenutal fall has been slow, steady and at times downright uncomfortable to watch. Click here to find out more.  He's an idiot.
The latest roller coaster derailment comes in the form of a former GOP leader of the pack candidate by the name Caine.  That's Herman Caine to you but Herb Caine to Sarah Palin.  Oh Sarah, I hope you never go away.  But I digress, back to the Caine Train Wreck... Not shockingly, Herman finally threw in the towel last week after a series of undeniable sex skeletons came tumbling out of his closet.  Everything from settled harrassment suits to a 13 year affair.  Eek.  It's sad to think his team made this video for nothing...
I am, America...

Not mentioned much is Mitt Romney but that's mostly because he has yet to hold a steady 1st place lead since May. Instead he has maintained a solid 2nd place lead which means he doesn't get the skeleton diggers rummaging through his closets - yet.

Anything for a little face time.
Recently Trump decided that he possesses the mad skillz for debate moderation and announced his plans to moderate a December 27 Iowa debate.  This is not a joke.  Sadly, most of the GOP candidates are not taking his latest attempt to remain relevant seriously except of course for our man Newt and former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum - the only ones willing to show up for the shenanigans.  I admit, I'll be a little disappointed if it doesn't happen. 

It's all gonna come down to a Trump-backed Newt - v - Mitt. 

'Newt' and 'Mitt', really??

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