Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I'm Gonna Rock Your U-verse

Special K's proudest moment this Christmas? 
When I unwrapped this...

ME:  Um...  I don't get it.
Special K:  (beaming so big I thought his face would split right in two so help me) You hafta guess!
ME:  (sighing) It's a cord.  You got me a cord.
Special K: Nope!  Guess again!  (still beaming)
ME:  Television cords!  OMG you got me a flatscreen!!  AAHHHH!!!
Special K: (wincing)  Ah no.  What are those?  What can you use them for?
ME:  Extension cords?  We're extending my laptop to the flatscreen? Inneresting.
Special KKeep guessing.
ME:  Speaker cords?  You got me a stereo?
Special K:  (sighing) No.  Not a stereo, Jesus.  Keep guessing.
ME:  Are you serious?  You want to keep playing this reindeer game?  Ugh.
Special K:  (teeth gritted) Just do it.  Guess.  What are they?
ME:  I. Don't. Know.  It's just a cable to something.  I don't f**king know.
Special K:  (beaming once again) YEEES!  It's a cable! 

I felt like I was in a scene from Coming to America:  Yes!  It's a cable!  Isn't it nice?!

ME:  Wha?
Special K:  Cable.  Caaaaaaaabllllllllllle.  (Eyes ready to pop out of his lovely head.)
ME:  A cable.  You got me a cable?
Special K:  He was willing me to figure this out by boring his eyes into my skull.  I got you cable.  Cable. 
ME:  (with renewed enthusiasm) You got me cable?  Like movie stuff  cable?  Like ditching the rabbit ears and watching The Daily Show not on a laptop cable?
Special K:  (smugly) Yep. AT&T U-verse gets here on Tuesday.

So I guess it must be Tuesday (see last post) because I have cable dammit. And I watched The Daily Show, Anderson Cooper 360 and even a little Fox News just to see what the 'other guys' are up to these days.  I may never sleep again.

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