Saturday, February 27, 2016

When a long time vegetarian starts making super secret plans to endulge in a super secret affair with a medium rare steak dinner it can only mean one thing.

I never did go through with that steak dinner although I'm still impressed with my get away plan. I'm confident it was full proof. Now the thought of a delicious mouth watering tenderloin fillet has passed and been replaced by its rightful owner - the stomach flip gag reflex. But it wasn't just the carnivorous cravings. It was a sudden reappearance of my18 year old complexion that showed up just in time for my 20 year class reunion. It was hot yoga making me nauseous and deciding one day to cut 12 inches off my hair - Don't worry, still plenty left.  It was negotiating a relocation back to Dallas with my best friend's company (but luckily mutually deciding to hold off for now). Finally it was falling asleep in a Sunday matinee of the Hunger Games movie that sent up the flare and had me doing some quick math.

That's right folks, Mother Nature is a funny gal. We had just decided that we were good with the little person that we were and are blessed with. She's perfect, our little rainbow baby that came through for us after years of storms. I'm not going to lie, Mother Nature worked against us for long enough that we finally turned to science for an extra boost and yeah baby! But this time, Mother Nature decided it was her time and ours. She made sure to wait until after we had purged our attic of all things infant and maternity, of course she did. And now here I sit and type, 5 months in to our next - and definitely last - little human addition to our family and I couldn't be happier. I'm thrilled that sweet Adelaide will have a sibling to commiserate with when she's older about all of the ways we've screwed them up. Thrilled that she will have a person after we are gone.

I was in shock though for a while. I waited until I'd taken 4 home tests and established my hcg levels with a quick blood test before presenting Special K with his 40th birthday present. As my sixth - yes sixth - pregnancy, not only does one start jaded and expecting the worst, but you also have a built in protocol that can't be found in 'What to Expect When You're Expecting': Get hcg levels to establish 'how pregnant' you actually are. Start your baby aspirin, prenatals, and folic, get your progesterone script, and try to block out your prior weeks of wine consumption, for god's sake do not even think about that right now!Oh, and if you're open to it, call your reproductive acupuncturist and get on that asap. None of it glamorous but I like to think I've raised the front line protocol to an art form and perfected it at last with number 5. When in doubt, do what worked, right? All of those balls took only a couple days to get rolling and then, when absolutely sure that I had irrefutable evidence of hcg levels of 20,000 (my doctor's words, yes Nicole, you're like really pregnant), I presented to Special K.

When it was established by doctor's years before that au naturale was not an option, you can't really blame a guy - or gal - for their initial reaction. While staying calm and cool, he downed his drink in one shot and looked at me dead pan - 'Are you fucking kidding me?' A phrase I'd muttered to myself about 100 times, I assured him that I was not kidding and to prove the reality of the situation, here are some 20,000 hcg levels to suck on. The kid knew full well what those numbers meant and he got it. I watched as it sunk in and I watched while it continued to sink in... for weeks. It took some time because again, jaded by our history, it's tough to let yourself go all in during those early months. But here we are, 5 months along and we're all fucking in.

We find out Thursday if Adelaide's person will be a boy or girl. Special K is adamant it's a girl - more hope than logic there. But I've felt from the beginning that it's a boy. This one has been totally different from day 1 - or day 45 - and it's not just because of my advanced maternal age which apparently, after my 39th birthday, I actually graduated into a new level of 'older moms'. More glamour.

So 2016 is shaping up to be bigger and better than originally anticipated. Summer Olympics, new baby, the presidential election, and a bonus 6 episode season of the X-Files. All exciting events although the election process thus far has insighted more dread and fear than natural labor, more on that later (the election not the labor).

Next up: Super Tuesday.