Monday, February 27, 2017

The answer is 'None of the above.'

I'm skipping past the last 7,8, 9? months because they've been a blur. I've written some posts since my last one but none to completion, or satisfaction. I've written even more in my head and while they never made it past my fingertips, even those have been therapeutic because too damn much has happened. It's like I blinked last February and it's suddenly a year later and I've woken up in a some punked version of reality. Can you guess which one of the following statements is false?

A) I am 40.
B) My son spent 70 days in the NICU last year. 70.
C) I am a stay at home mom now.
D) Donald Trump is President. Of like the United States of America. Thanks to Russia. Russia.
E) Mike Pence is no longer Governor of Indiana! Because he's Vice President of like, the United States of America.
F) U2 is touring The Joshua Tree.
G) I've figured out how to fly with an infant and toddler and still score a glass of wine in-flight.
H) The new Secretary of Education stated that guns should be allowed in schools due to grizzly bears. And she was elected after that statement was made, of course she was.
I) I've participated in 3 protests and rallies in 2017 and it's only February 26th.
J) I wore a pussy hat on my head in a sea of other pussy hats and it was totally normal.
K) We have a president, of like, the United States of America, who uses Twitter as a bully pulpit and regularly creates his own versions of the truth to suit his needs and ego - and it's considered normal.

So which one of these is not true? The answer is NONE OF THEM. THEY ARE ALL FUCKING TRUE WHAT THE HELL??

Like I said, punked reality. Alternate universe. Life's been busy and just when I thought I was getting my energy back up to embrace life again last fall, November 8 happened and my world was thrown on its axis once again as Donald Fucking Trump was elected, despite losing the popular vote by several million. Months later I'm still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out at a White House Daily Briefing and yell PUNKED! Goddammit Ashton, where are you.

In the mean time, I do what I know. I continue to raise my little people to not be assholes (that's my bar). I join rallies and protests and shout from the rooftops - and troll Twitter like a mad woman - as I am indignant on a daily basis of the policies being spewed forth from the new Oval. The oval which is now full of CEO's, billionaires, and oh yeah, white supremacists. No big deal. Totally normal. Did I mention I'm a stay at home mom now?

In the meantime, I prepare for another trek back to my Texas in four days with lofty mom goals of scoring my in-flight wine and maintaining the semblance of sanity while traveling with 2 tiny humans, sans Special K. My soul prepares for blue skies and sun which I need to drown out the cold - and not cold - but always gray days of the past 4 months.

In the meantime, I continue to struggle with the reality of my stay at home momness. And while I have no regrets I'd be lying if I said this new gig was easy - because it's not. It's the hardest fucking thing I've ever done in my life. Every day is hard but there's beauty in it. Every day there are tears, smiles, poop - so much poop, so many highs and lows. But this is my gig right now. They are my job and they make the HR profession look easy. When I look at them I want to vomit with love because even in their worst moods and most maniacal moments, they are beautiful and they are mine. Ours.

So yeah, I'm looking forward to sky blue skies very soon as I take advantage of my unlimited 'days off' with my monsters. I will enjoy them while I have them.


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